A Fool in Korea

K-pop

Last night, I spoke to my estranged son, Chicken Ken. He's pissed because he thinks that I'm keeping Rice-Boy Larry in South Korea against his will. Chicken Ken says that I'm a prideful son of a bitch who needs a lesson in humility.

He said, "Mom's gone, so what's holding you up? You should be here in Texas with me and Granny."

I said, "Your brother only has a couple of years until he gets his diploma. I'd hate to take him out of school when he's so close to finishing."

"That's bullshit. Why don't you just tell me the truth."

I shrugged my shoulders. "What is the truth?"

"That's what Pontius Pilate asked Jesus right before the crucifixion."

I smiled at him. "Seriously, what should I do? You tell me."

"It has nothing to do with Rice-Boy's education. We have a perfectly good high school right down the road. You're scared to death just like a little girl."

"And what am I afraid of?"

"You don't want to be a waffle boy who serves hash to the local hillbillies." 

"You're half right. True. I'm a college-educated man, and the thought of serving hash to hillbillies is quite frightening. But that doesn't change the fact that the American public-school system sucks giant ass. Can't you hold on for another two years?"

"No. It wouldn't be fair to my brother. What you're doing to Larry is downright criminal."

Chicken Ken lived in Korea for many years. When he was here, my eldest son was a God-fearing Christian who went to church on Sundays. Then I made the huge mistake of sending him to Texas at the tender age of sixteen to finish his education. It wasn't my idea. He begged me to let him go. 

Now Ken is a dope-smoking white supremacist who hangs out with Caucasian neo-Nazis. I shit you not. My biggest fear is that one day his friends will drag him to a meeting with real Nazis. And when they see that my boy isn't actually white, they might kick the living shit out of him. He's playing with fire, and he's too stupid to realize it.

Maybe I should return to the States. That way, I'd be able to protect him from himself.

Anyway, I downloaded season 1 of The Sopranos on my computer and watched a couple of episodes. It's one of the greatest shows in the history of television, and James Gandolfini is perfect for the role. He's both terrifying and affable at the same time. When you think about it, Tony Soprano is nothing more than a psychopathic version of Fred Flintstone. Tony's a hard working family guy who loves his kids but will snap your neck if you look at him wrong. 

At ten p.m., I walked to my room and enjoyed some porn. My favorite videos starred a woman named Cumshida Amado. Trust me. Nothing is off limits for this lady. She's a real shameless skeezer. 

I went to bed at midnight and slept like the dead. Then I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. After that, I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. Jennie from Blackpink released a hit song with The Weeknd. I've posted the video for your enjoyment. I'm not a huge fan of K-pop artists, but their music is very popular with the youth across the globe.