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Yesterday, I was sick. Nothing too serious, so there's no reason to be alarmed. I had a scratchy throat, and the snot wouldn't stop running from my nose. Therefore, I took a half day off of school in order to see a doctor. His office is right across the street from me, and there's even a pharmacist in the same building.
Anyway, the visit didn't take too long. He checked my tonsils and my nose and my eyes. Then he declared that I'm suffering from allergies. After that, he wrote a prescription and sent me on my way. The whole shebang--including the price for the pills--was under twenty bucks. And that's my favorite thing about South Korea. The healthcare system is absolutely fabulous.
Soon, I'll have to exit the peninsula. Hell, even if my Mexican stepfather's heart turns out to be as right as rain, I still only have two years left before Rice-Boy graduates. And he's got his sights set on attending an American university in order to be closer to his older brother. But I'm not going to lie. The thought of leaving this tiny nation grieves my soul. I really enjoy my life here--especially with the Dragon Lady out of the picture. Oh well. I'm out of options.
I got to my office at 1 p.m., and I was greeted by my friend and colleague Richard Hurtz.
He said, "How are you feeling, old man?"
I shrugged my shoulders and took a sip of coffee. "I'm OK. It's not like I'm dying. However, the snot simply won't stop dripping down my chin. I've already been through three rolls of toilet paper."
He crinkled his nose in a sign of disgust. "Don't use toilet paper. You'll tear your flesh to ribbons. Go out and buy some expensive tissue. You should be good to yourself. You deserve it."
"I'll do that today."
Of course, I was lying. I have no intention on pampering myself with such finery. Who the fuck am I? The queen of England?
I said, "I forgot to congratulate you."
"For what?"
"Australia won the Rugby World Cup."
He smiled at me. "That was months ago."
"Still, a victory is a victory."
"True. But these days, I'm more into cricket."
I took another sip of coffee. "You went to university in the United States. Don't you enjoy any real sports?"
"The NBA is fantastic. Yet I don't really understand American football or baseball. To each their own, I guess."
Later that day, Rice-Boy Larry gave a speech in the auditorium using the Korean language. He had entered some contest a few weeks back, and this was one of the requirements. Everybody howled and clapped because he's half a white man. They couldn't believe that a honkey could speak their tongue like a native.
I became a little upset at first. Larry has spent the vast majority of his life on the peninsula, and his mother is Korean as Korean can get. How dare they forbid my son from playing in their reindeer games simply because of the color of his skin.
Then I remembered that I'm a bit of a racist, too. For instance, back in the day, I had met a black man who had been attending MIT at the time. I kept congratulating him over and over again about his tremendous intellect. But he simply frowned at me and told me to cool it. I was a bit offended by his tepid reception to my compliments. Yet now I get it.
