A Fool in Korea

Animals

Yesterday, I woke up at 5 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. A guy in his 30s from Seoul got angry at his pet Pomeranian, so he threw the poor beast off his second-floor balcony. Unfortunately, the dog sustained severe injuries to both its spine and nervous system, and is now unable to use its hind legs. The man was given a fine of $1,500 for this act of cruelty. The penalty seems a bit light to me, but what do I know?

I prepared bacon and hash browns for Rice-Boy Larry as he sat at the kitchen table.

He said, "Mom called me last night."

I nodded and smiled. "What did she want?"

"Korean granny gave me 500,000 won for my birthday."

I clapped my hands together. "That's wonderful."

"But Mom lost the money."

I let out a heavy sigh. "She lost it all?"

"She says that she was at the bank when a pervert tried to feel her up. Then he reached into her purse and took the cash."

I laughed out loud and banged the palm of my hand on the countertop. "And do you believe her bullshit story?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Not really. Yet I don't have any proof that she's lying."

I wasn't surprised by Rice-Boy's tale. Along with being a liar, the Dragon Lady is also a thief. Sadly, she even steals money from her very own family. For instance, we were living together in China right before Covid hit. She got angry one day and took $5,000 from my bank account before flying away to Korea. But that's what narcissists do. The whole world revolves around them, so they naturally assume that they have the right to everybody else's money.

I looked at my boy. "When she comes, don't bring it up."

"Why?"

"It ain't worth it. She'll be gone in a day or two, and then we can get on with our lives."

"But it sucks. That was my money."

I took a sip of coffee from my mug. "You know something? You're a hundred percent correct. Do what makes you happy."

Later that morning, I caught the bus to work and found a seat near the rear of the vehicle. I was still fuming with rage, but then an English tune came on the radio which helped to soothe my weary soul. It was Allison Krauss's rendition of Down to the River to Pray, and I took it as a sign from God. What good does human fury ever produce? So I enjoyed the song and handed my burdens over to the Lord.

I got to the office at 7:30 a.m. and called my mother using Facebook Messenger.

I said, "I sent Chicken Ken a couple of messages, but he never got back to me."

"Well, he's pissed. In fact, he says that he may never talk to you again."

"What the fuck did I do this time?"

Mom shot me the stink eye. "You know what you did."

"I really don't. So please enlighten me."

"It's that woman. You're letting her back into your home."

"Mom, stop talking your horseshit. She's simply coming to wish her youngest child a happy birthday. So what the fuck can I do? Trust me. She ain't staying."

"We shall see."

I felt ill the rest of the day. The Dragon Lady has that effect upon my body and spirit. She drags a dark cloud behind her wherever she goes.