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Yesterday, I woke up at 5 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. There's a white woman named Amy Pope who is the director general of the International Organization for Migration. Her post falls under the umbrella of the United Nations.
Anyway, Ms. Pope is telling everybody in South Korea that migrants will one day pretty much take over the entire peninsula. And she insists that this is actually a good thing, so everybody should just get used to it. Sadly, that's the problem with white progressive libtards. They believe in their hearts that they were handed the God-given right to rule the planet. Well, fuck them, and fuck the horses they rode in on.
I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.
I said, "How's your Mexican husband doing?"
She said, "He's OK. He's outside playing around in the yard. Man, it's hot out there."
"No kidding? Sounds like paradise. I've been freezing my ass off for the last couple of weeks."
"Not in this neck of the woods. We're actually thinking about switching on the air conditioner."
I suddenly changed the subject. "I'm contemplating a return to my diet."
"What? The fruit and the raw eggs again?"
I nodded somberly. "I gained five pounds in the last couple of months. Too much snacking while at work."
Mom let out a loud groan. "Who are you trying to impress? A man can't survive on raw eggs and fruit. You'll drive yourself crazy. Plus it's not even healthy."
"I don't want to go back to being a fat pig. These days, I can actually see my penis when I'm taking a piss. And I'd prefer to keep it that way."
I took a quick shower and dried myself with an oversized washcloth. Then I prepared breakfast for Rice-Boy Larry. I made him two bacon sandwiches. Meanwhile, I consumed three jelly donuts as the pork sizzled in the pan.
I patted Larry on the back while he stuffed food into his mouth.
I said, "We're going for Napalm chicken tonight. So make sure to write it in your calendar."
He shot me the stink eye. "Why would I write it in my calendar? It's not some formal event."
I sighed heavily. "It's simply a manner of speaking. In other words, our dinner date is set in stone."
"OK. Napalm chicken. I got it. Not a problem."
"Have you been scoping out the girls these days?"
"Not really."
"How come?"
"They're all richer than me. Their fathers drive fantastic cars, and my father takes the bus. Maybe I need to meet females who are from the wrong side of the tracks."
I laughed out loud. "Hey, why not? It's certainly worth a try."
I eventually got to my office at 7:30 a.m. and completed some mindless paperwork. My day at work went pretty well. I'm currently reading a short story called The Sea Devil with my middle school class. It's about a man who gets pulled into the ocean by a giant stingray. He almost drowns, but he uses his wits to somehow survive the ordeal. Overall, it's an entertaining story. The kids seem to like it.
