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Yesterday, I woke up at 5 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. A man from Suwon was riding the bus at midnight. The vehicle stopped and was boarded by a Vietnamese woman who was swaying back and forth due to the effects of soju. For some strange reason, her drunkenness infuriated the man. So he angrily approached the poor lady and beat her with his fists. The police are currently looking for the culprit. They know his exact appearance because all mass transit in Korea is equipped with video cameras.
Koreans aren't always nice to black people and folk from southeast Asia. Yet they gaze upon whitey as if we were magical unicorns sent from heaven. Nevertheless, they hate us anyway. Just in a different sort of way. Go figure, right?
I cooked breakfast for Rice-Boy Larry. I made eggs and toast.
He said, "I have a huge test today."
I said, "Don't worry. I'm sure that you'll perform your duties in a fabulous manner."
"I wouldn't be so confident. I'm trying to figure out how to factor a cube. You wouldn't be able to help me, would you?"
"Of course I can help. In fact, I know the answer to every calculus problem in the universe."
"Well, any assistance would be much appreciated."
"When it comes to complicated math problems, the solution is always half past a monkey's ass and a quarter to his balls. Anyway, that's what I used to scribble on my test papers."
He shot me the stink eye. "Sometimes, you're a real fucking idiot."
And my boy is right. I've never been the brightest crayon in the box. Back when I was a kid, all the idiots weren't forced to take calculus. They shifted the retards like me into a course called Math for the Real World. We learned how to write checks and balance our bankbooks. The advanced stuff was given to the movers and shakers. Sadly, I've never been or mover. Nor have I ever been a shaker. That's probably why I'm a broke dead dick.
I caught the bus to work and made it to the office by 7:30 a.m. Then I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.
I said, "How's Sis doing?"
She shrugged and frowned. "Not so good. It turns out that it was her principal who shoved the knife in her back. The cunt from Cuba had nothing to do with it."
"I'm not surprised. Most principals are a bunch of gutless assholes. They're political to the core."
"But she looked Sis right in the face and lied. She even told Sis that she was going to pull strings to save her job."
"Yup. That sounds like a typical principal. Did Sis contact her union rep?"
Mom nodded. "The guy is going to help her find another job in the district."
"Isn't she going to fight the decision?"
"She can't be bothered. Besides, she doesn't want to work at a place that doesn't want her."
I sighed heavily. "It's probably for the best. But I hate to see evil people win the day."
My day at work went OK. I'm reading a new story with the middle school children. It's about a sixteen-year-old boy who is being hunted by a mountain lion out in the sticks. The tale is quite exciting.
