A Fool in Korea

Woodland Creature

Yesterday, I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. Oh Young-su is a 79-year-old geezer who starred in the Netflix global hit, Squid Games. Anyway, back in 2017, he hugged a woman and kissed her on the cheek. Unfortunately, she is now pressing charges, and the district attorney in the city of Suwon wants to send the actor to prison for a year, claiming that he touched the victim without her consent. Final analysis? The Me Too movement is really getting out of control. Soon they'll be throwing us in jail for looking at a lady's ass.

I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.

She said, "Is your crazy wife still there?"

I nodded. "She sure is."

"When is she going home?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I have no idea, but I don't want to talk about it."

"How come?"

"Because it's out of my control. Supposedly, she has a job interview on Tuesday, so I guess she's leaving tomorrow or the next day."

She sighed heavily. "Well, everything is going well in my neck of the woods. Me and your Mexican stepfather are doing fine. And Chicken Ken is upstairs working on his homework."

"Cool. I guess we can make this a short call."

She suddenly changed the subject. "You look depressed."

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me. You've got your own problems."

"I can't help worrying. You're my flesh and blood."

"It won't do you any good. I'm a five-point Calvinist, so my life has already been written by the moving finger of God."

Mom took a sip of Coke. "What the fuck does that even mean?"

"I'm not sure myself. Yet it sounded good as I was saying it."

I relaxed in bed while watching Fox News. America is currently bombing targets in Syria and Iraq. But that isn't enough for the warhawks. They say that the United States needs to destroy Iran's ability to produce oil. Of course, this would send global gas prices through the roof and lead to all kinds of acts of terrorism in our homeland. Yet the military industrial complex needs more blood to keep its profits soaring, and the wealthy men who produce bombs and bullets always seem to get what they want.

Later that morning, Rice-Boy Larry knocked on my bedroom door.

I said, "What do you want?"

"Mom is taking me to an outlet to buy new sneakers. She wants you to give her money."

"How much?"

He cleared his throat. "$150."

"Man, is she ever going to go home?"

"I'm not sure."

I stood up and dug the cash out of my wallet. "Look, this isn't a good idea. From now on when you need something, you have to come to your father directly."

"Don't blame me for this crap. You're the one who invited her back."

I held up my hands in a sign of surrender. "I'm not blaming you. Yet I'm also not blaming myself, either. This is the fault of the racist Korean government. I couldn't file the taxes without her assistance. Big Brother simply wouldn't let me do it."

"Bullshit. Where there's a will, there's a way."

"Well, don't let her spend too much."

"I'm not God, and I have no secret powers. She's your wife, not mine."

After they left, I sat on the sofa and viewed a couple hours of porn. One of my favorite videos features a plump lady with big tits. She stuck a butt plug up her asshole which was attached to a foxtail. She then paraded around the room like a woodland creature in black high-heeled shoes. Later, she had sex with a well-hung Mexican man. For some reason, I found the entire clip very exciting.