Ουπς! Αυτή η εικόνα δεν ακολουθεί τους κανόνες περιεχομένου. Για να συνεχίσεις με την δημοσίευση, παρακαλώ αφαίρεσε την ή ανέβασε διαφορετική εικόνα.
I woke up today at 8 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. A fire broke out at an apartment building in Seoul, and one man died when he jumped out the 4th-story window to the ground below. He held his baby in his arms as he took the plunge. Luckily, the child survived.
I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.
I said, "Merry Christmas, old lady."
She said, "It's still Christmas Eve over here."
"How's Chicken Ken doing?"
"He's OK. Your son is going out with his friends tonight."
I sighed heavily. "Ken no longer speaks to me. It's been a couple of weeks since I heard a word from him."
"Well, you pissed him off. He thought you'd be divorced by now and living in America. But I'm sure that he'll come around. Ken thinks that you're holding Rice-Boy Larry in Korea against his will."
I chuckled and took a sip of coffee. "Nothing could be further from the truth. Larry likes it over here. In fact, this peninsula is the only nation he has ever known."
"So you've decided to stay there forever?"
"No. Of course not. Two years tops. That's when Larry graduates from high school."
It's kind of strange. I suffered the silent treatment for years at the hands of my disturbed narcissistic wife. And the moment she's out of my life, I have to endure it again because of my angry son. And let me tell you motherfuckers something. The silent treatment is nothing to laugh at. It's hell when those you love freeze you out of their lives.
I relaxed in bed for a couple of hours while viewing porn. All the clips featured black and Asian ladies getting boned by well-hung white men. There's something about ethnic women that turns me on. In fact, when it comes to sexual matters, white is seldom right in my book. But what the fuck do I know?
After that, I cleaned both of my bathrooms using bleach. By the time I finished, I was wheezing because the liquid always plays havoc with my lungs, my nose, and my eyes. With that said, bleach is fantastic when it comes to making things sparkle. Plus it kills lots of germs that often hide on the floor, the toilet, and the shower curtain. Yet next time, I should probably wear a hospital mask.
Larry didn't crawl out of bed until noon.
I said, "You have to come with me to the bakery."
He rolled his eyes. "Why?"
"I need to get a cake for tonight's dinner, and you speak the lingo."
"But I don't want to even go to that fucking dinner."
I put my arm around his shoulders. "Listen. It's important to mingle with people on holidays. You only have to show up for an hour or two. Then you're free to go."
To make a long story short, we walked across the street to a placed called Paris Baguette. I bought a mocha-flavored cake for twenty-seven dollars. It was the cheapest one they had. And I also purchased two loaves of French bread. They were three dollars each.
Larry said, "In China, we could get this type of bread for less than a buck."
"Well, we don't live in Beijing anymore. Welcome to Seoul, Korea."
The dinner was held at my friend Karl's house. He's flying off to Finland on Wednesday to visit his relatives. We ate pork and fried rice until our stomachs nearly exploded. Plus ice-cold genuine Coca-Cola was served with the vittles. Everybody had a good time.
