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Yesterday, I woke up at 5 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. A drunk guy in his 20's from Seoul walked into a convenience store and took umbrage with the woman behind the cash register. He didn't like her short hair and started calling the lady a feminist. Unfortunately, the conflict got out of control, and it didn't take long before he began hitting her with his fists. He also beat up a guy in his 50s who was trying to help the female. Thankfully, the culprit was eventually nabbed by the police, and now he faces a five-year prison sentence.
I called my mother using Facebook Messenger. She was out on her back patio with a cup of tea.
She said, "Chicken Ken has promised to go to Sam's for me."
I said, "Will he actually do it, or was he just whistling Dixie?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "I think he's taking a nap."
"He still refuses to talk to me. He says that I'm abusing Rice-Boy Larry by keeping him in Korea."
"Maybe Ken's right."
I let out a heavy sigh. "We've been through this many times. South Korea isn't a third-world hellhole. Plus I have great health insurance. When I move back in a couple of years, me and my boy will both be on Medicaid."
She took a sip of her beverage. "Medicaid ain't that bad."
I shot her the stink eye. "Who the fuck are you kidding? It's awful."
"Then get a fucking job with benefits. You have a college degree."
I nodded my head up and down. "Actually, I've been thinking about trying to sell Mercedes Benzes upon my return."
"What about becoming a real-estate agent?"
I nodded again. "That's certainly an idea worth exploring."
But here's the truth. I'm stuck here for another couple of years whether I like it or not. Larry needs to finish his schooling before we travel to the States. However, he might end up getting a job on the peninsula. He's half a white man who is fluent in both languages. Consequently, there are lots of corporations looking for kids with his skill set. Yet it's all in God's hands. I'm a five-point Calvinist, so I'm not a big believer in free will.
I took a quick shower and fried some eggs for Rice-Boy Larry's breakfast. Our fucking bacon still hasn't come. I'm thinking of canceling the order. At this rate, Jesus will return before I enjoy another BLT.
I patted my son on the back. "Are you having a good time in school?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess."
"Well, that's good. Life is meant to be fun. And take my advice. You should try your best not to be a pensive soul."
"A pensive soul? What the fuck does that even mean?"
I smiled at him. "You think too much. And self-reflection sucks giant ass. I gave up thinking a long time ago, and I'm much happier for it. The mind is a terrible thing."
"So going through life like a moron is working for you?"
"Damn straight. Simplify, simplify, simplify."
I caught the bus and made it to my office by 7:30 a.m. My day was quite pleasant. I'm currently reading Anglo-Saxon riddles with one of my elective classes. The kids seem to be getting a kick out of them. Next comes Beowulf. Good stuff.
