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Yesterday, I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. A man in his 60s from Seoul got drunk at a local establishment and was led back to his apartment complex by a couple of cops. He told the officers that he would be OK, so they left him in one of the stairwells. Unfortunately, he fell asleep before returning to his humble abode and froze to death in the corridor. The policemen, consequently, were each given a $4,000 fine.
I ate a couple of jelly donuts for breakfast before catching the bus to work. I got to my office at 8 a.m. and called my mother using Facebook Messenger.
I said, "How's your urinary tract infection?"
She said, "I'm going back to the doctor tomorrow."
"So you're still in pain?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "Not really. But better safe than sorry."
"Have you been drinking cranberry juice like I told you?"
She took a sip of coffee. "Hell no. I can't stomach that foul-tasting shite."
"It's supposed to be good for you."
"I'd rather die than endure that poison."
I changed the subject. "And Chicken Ken? Is my boy doing OK?"
"He's great. He just made the dean's list."
"Fantastic. He's a smart kid."
She sighed heavily. "Ken misses you and his brother very much. You should get on a plane today and come straight home."
"We've been through this a million times. I think it would be better to let Larry finish high school first."
"Bullshit. You always have an excuse. You're just hoping that your crazy wife will come back to you."
I laughed out loud. "Really? You think I'm that much of a masochist?"
"Yes. You've got a lot of emotional problems. I blame myself. I must have fucked things up when you were a child."
My day at work was pretty much uneventful. I asked one of my fellow co-workers about paying taxes in Korea. He told me to go to the local tax office and ask the suits behind the desk. Here's the problem. I can't use the tax website without a username and a password. So I'll do that on Monday after Larry gets back from his field trip.
I eventually got home at 6 p.m. and made myself a couple of bacon sandwiches for dinner. They tasted wonderful. And I washed the vittles down with a large glass of generic cola. I'm not a fancy boy, so I don't mind drinking and eating off-brand stuff. In fact, it's nice to save a buck or two from time to time.
After that, I sat on the sofa and watched a couple episodes of The Sopranos. I'm on the part where Tony's crazy sister, Janice, shoots her soon-to-be husband, Richie Aprile. Of course, Tony comes to the rescue and gets rid of the body. To that end, Richie's carcass is dismembered in the back of a pork store by a couple of wise guys. Good stuff.
I walked to my room at 10 p.m. and viewed an hour of pornography. My favorite video featured a Japanese woman having group sex with her husband's friends. She gets triple penetrated by a gaggle of horny Asians. They also slap her ass during the middle of coitus. Consequently, both her cheeks become extremely red.
Porn is truly disgusting. Yet with that said, I'm completely out of the market when it comes to pussy. So smut is all I have left.
