Yesterday, I woke up at 5 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty dump. South Korea is cutting the number of teachers because of population decline. There are now schools in Seoul with literally no children in the first grade. Sadly, this country is so depressed and grim that people have decided to stop fucking. I shit you not. In a sick way, it's kind of funny. In fact, I'm giggling to myself as I write this crap.
Rice-Boy Larry crawled out of bed at 6 a.m., and we struck up a brief conversation.
He said, "Somebody told the teachers that I'm a smoker, so they gave me a nicotine test the other day."
"Holy moly. Be honest. Have you been dipping into my Marlboros?"
He sighed heavily. "Of course not. The last thing I need is to become addicted to cigarettes. I'd never be able to complete a marathon in the future."
"So the test came back negative?"
He nodded. "I have no idea why people smoke in the first place. It seems kind of stupid to me."
"It is stupid. But that nicotine really helps with stress. In fact, if it weren't for tobacco, I would have jumped out the window a long time ago."
"Well, that's just fucking sad."
I patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm only playing around. The last thing in the world I'd ever do is commit suicide. After all, I'm trying to make it to the Kingdom of God. So murdering myself isn't on the agenda...at the present time."
I caught the bus and got to my office by 7:30 a.m. Then I listened to a brief sermon by Pastor John MacArthur on YouTube. He talked about the crucifixion and the disappearance of the sun at noon. Jerusalem was in the dark for three hours because God was pouring his wrath onto Jesus as he hung from the cross. It was definitely a rough day at the office for the Son of Man. Yet he prevailed in the end and even descended to Tartarus to tell the demons that he had emerged victorious. Tartarus is the lowest level of hell for all you pagan fuckheads who read this blog.
I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.
She said, "Your son cut my grass today."
I said, "That's great. I'm glad he's helping around the house."
"He always does a wonderful job."
"Do you think he might want to come to Korea this summer?"
She shook her head and frowned. "He said that he'll never return to that shithole for as long as he lives."
"That's so strange. True. He hated his mother, but he always liked the country back in the day. He's still a citizen, after all."
"I can only tell you what he told me."
"Well, if he changes his mind, tell him that I'll pay for the plane ticket."
"I'll relay your message, but don't get your hopes up. He still has a lot of bad memories from his childhood."
I'm not a psychiatrist, but I believe that the Dragon Lady suffers from the class-B personality disorders. We're talking about the psychopaths, histrionics, narcissists, and borderlines. And all these terrible afflictions seem to bleed into each other. Sadly, cluster-B assholes are usually pure evil, and they reign down nothing but death and destruction upon their victims.
