The Emperor's Concubine

Chapter Thirty-Four

I sit at the dinner table with Cabel as we eat dinner.
I take a sip of red wine, after swallowing a bite of roasted pork.
"You really learned all of that from reading?" Cabel asks, taking a bite of his food.
"Of course! I love reading, it helps me learn about the world I couldn't learn about, when I was younger-" I pause, remembering saying the same line before, "Oh forgive me, have I said this to you already?"
"The same words exactly, yes." Cabel laughs, smiling fondly.
I smile staring at his smile; suddenly struck by memories of Hayden smiling.
I stare at Cabel, unable to help but wonder why Hayden came to my mind as I looked at Cabel's smile.
"Is something wrong?" Cabel looks at me, confused.
"Oh no... I just remembered I haven't seen a friend of mine in a while... A lot has happened I suppose." I do my best to repress the minor sadness growing inside of me.
Cabel nods as he listens.
"I see... Hayden, I assume? I can contact him to visit you when you're free." He speaks.
"No, please don't. I don't feel right about asking that of you."
"I promise, it's okay. I'll let you know when he's available. What day works for you?"
"I suppose any day... Tomorrow I was going to visit Magnolia though... But I promise you don't need to arrange anything for me."
"I said I would so there's no point in being shy." Cabel smiles at me, continuing to eat.

"Maggie!" I exclaim.
I run up to the bed, hugging her.
"My lady!" Magnolia calls out, excited.
"Here, these are for you." I hand Magnolia a bouquet of peach and pink flowers, "Are you doing okay now?"
"Thank you! Yes, I am! I'll be able to come back to work soon!" She takes the flowers hugging them tightly.
I smile as I see her complexion clear of injuries, with only bandages and a sling wrapped around her shoulder.

The morning goes by quickly as I keep her company.
We sit side by side as I read her a book.
She lightly holds my sleeve, stopping me as I move to flip the page.
"Maggie? What's the matter?" I ask.
"My lady, I'm sorry about everything..." Magnolia quietly speaks.
"About what?" I close the book, confused by her actions.
"I lied... I told you his highness hurt me, when he had nothing to do with it... I was scared to disobey them..." Magnolia grows saddened, looking down at her lap.
"Hey, don't worry about that. Maggie, please don't be sorry. You did what you thought was best to protect me. You're such a kind hearted girl to do that. I only wish I could have protected you."
"I just couldn't stand thinking about them harming you... It hurts to think about how I lied to you..."
"Maggie, you did nothing wrong, okay? You are so strong and kind for protecting me, but you should never put yourself in harm's way like that."
Magnolia nods, wiping her eyes.
"My lady... I just... I can't forgive myself though... When my father passed away, I was left alone with my older sister..."
"You have a sister?" I ask, listening to her open up.
"Yes, an older one... She's very kind and protected me all the time... She stays right here."
Magnolia pulls out a gold locket with a small bottle filled with ashes on the chain.
She opens the locket to reveal a picture of her and her sister.
"She passed away when I was only eight... When she passed... I promised her I would live a happy life, and always be truthful... But I broke my promise with her many times after her death... I could never be happy..."
"Maggie..."
"I-I remember I was alone and Mister Lance found me on the streets... He told me he'll find a shelter for me to stay, and introduced me to the captain of his highness's royal guards."
"You worked for him for a while then, huh?"
"Yes... Mister Lance frequently checked up on me, and one day when he visited, he asked me to come to the palace to become your maid... I'm grateful he did... You reminded me of my sister, she was so kind and intelligent... But lying to you made me realize I broke both promises to her... I-I'm sorry I lied... I didn't know what else to do..." Magnolia olds back her sobs, staring at her lap.

I stare at my lap, invisible chains appearing around my wrists as the cold atmosphere of the dungeon comes to my mind.

'Just like me... She feels the constricting pressure of the past... But a child as kind as her shouldn't let these things hold her back...'
I think to myself, listening to the chilling rattling of the chains.
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes. The feeling of the cuffs, and the rattling of the chains disappearing as I ignore my past.
"Maggie... The promise you broke to your sister can hurt a lot... But you can't let that hold you back." I whisper, holding her hand.
Magnolia looks up at me, her eyes widening.
"My lady?..." She calls out.
Tears fall down my cheeks as I listen to Magnolia's story.
"I can't understand the pain you went through and what pain you're going through... But if you held onto 'what you did wrong', you won't be happy and that breaks your promise more, right?"
Magnolia nods, biting her lip as she listens to me.
"Maggie... It hurts, it may feel like a heavy weight on your shoulders when you think about your promise, but if your sister was alive, would she be upset you broke your promise?"
Magnolia hesitates until shaking her head.
"No... She would forgive me and would tell me to do my best to not break it again..."
I smile, wiping my cheek.
"It's hard letting go of 'the past' or letting go of something that hurts you... I know how difficult that can be... But the best anyone can do is grow from it, no matter how long that takes. I'm sure you're sister will be happy as long as you can forgive yourself, just like she'll forgive you."
"But my lady, you got hurt-"
"No, you got hurt... I'm okay, but you got hurt more than I did... You need to learn to forgive yourself when others already have... You can't have a happy life like you promised her, if you don't try to learn to let go of the past..."
"Y-Yes, my lady..." Magnolia smiles, sobbing as she covers her eyes.
I pet her head and smile.
"I'm sorry you went through so much heartache... I hope one day you'll realize you fulfilled your promise to her."
Magnolia nods, trying to hold back her sobs. She hugs me tightly as we cry together.

"I cried too much." I sigh, looking into a mirror.
I stare at my red puffy eyes. I think about what I told Magnolia, trying to absorb that lesson for myself too.
The door knocks, I turn to look at the door.
"Who is it?" I call out.
No reply comes.
I stare at my eyes again, making sure the redness isn't too noticeable.
I walk to my door, opening it. My eyes widen as I look at the familiar man at my door.
"Oh my god." I stare, surprised as I look up.
"It's been a while." Hayden kindly smiles.
"H-Hayden!" I jump into his arms hugging him, "It's been so long!" I exclaim.
"Have you been well?" Hayden hugs me back, chuckling to himself.
"Yes, I have! Please come in!"
Hayden enters my room, holding a box.
He pauses, his hand slowly raising to touch my cheekbone.
"You?... You cried again?" He asks, his eyes filling with unreadable emotions.
"O-Oh... Yes, but it's nothing to worry about." I smile.
"Was it because of nightmares?"
"No, I promise I'm okay. I just had an emotional talk with my maid, and I ended up crying too much. Please, sit." I smile, gesturing for him to move to the sofa.
His brow furrows until he gives a small smile and nods.
He walks to sit on the sofa across from me, giving me a kind smile.
"It's not much, but hopefully it'll make you happy. I brought you, your favourite." He says, placing the box on the table.
I gasp playfully.
"Is that what I think it is?"
I open the box to see assorted fruit macarons, colourfully illuminating the box.
"Oh my goodness! I can't believe you got me these again!"
"It wasn't a hassle, enjoy them as much as you want. I ordered some tea to accompany them."
"You shouldn't have! I should give you a gift for how kind you are to me."
"Don't worry, a gentleman should spoil a lady every now and then."

Lance enters as Hayden and I talk.
He arranges the teacups and snacks in front of us, until I realize something.

'Lance should be helping Cabel right now, so why is he serving us?... Did Cabel ask him to serve us?... But, Hayden said he ordered the tea...'
I think to myself, curious as to why Lance brought us tea instead of a different maid or butler.
"Will you be needing anything else?" Lance asks, looking over at Hayden.
"No, that'll be all." Hayden replies, sipping his tea.
"Thank you, Lance." I smile kindly, further confused by Lance's look towards Hayden.
"Of course, my lady. Please call me if you need anything else." Lance bows, exiting the room.
"So tell me, what's new? Have you been busy?" I smile, ignoring my curiosity.
"Yes, I've had paperwork to complete and with your plans for Xiao, I'm more busy now."
"Oh! How did you hear it was my plan?"
"You're a bright intelligent girl so it wasn't hard to find out."
"Not at all! I can't take all the credit, it was his highness' idea of borrowing Xiao's warriors that made me think about how he could borrow their powers, but not be indebted to them."
"It's a very good idea regardless, you're very praise worthy."
"No, not at all!"
"Of course you are. You're humbled, intelligent, and have a smile brighter than a thousand diamonds."
"Oh, you and your flattery." I scoff, brushing his compliment off as a joke.
"But you must have missed me, including my flattery." Hayden grins, joking arrogantly.
I scoff, rolling my eyes.
"Possibly."

We spend the afternoon together, catching up with each other.
I sit back and sigh, overwhelmed with calmness as I snack on a raspberry macaron.
"Come closer." Hayden gestures with his finger.
I lean forward, confused.
Hayden stands up, leaning over the table as he wipes my bottom lip with his thumb. His face inches away from mine.
I grow embarrassed as I look back at him, cautiously examining my face for more crumbs. His eyes shift up to meet my eyes.
He looks back at me, almost entranced and lost in his thoughts. His hand slowly shifts down my chin as he tilts my face upwards.
His face moving slightly closer.
I freeze, unable to process anything.
Instantly, he flinches.
Hayden pauses, looking back at me. Slowly he averts his gaze, taking his hand away.
"My apologies, it seems I've overstayed." He speaks, standing up.
"Oh okay, um..." I pause, unable to ask what that moment was.
"I'll see you soon, my lady." Hayden bows before quickly leaving my room.
I stand, shocked.
"What in the world just happened?" I exclaim to myself.
I stare at the closed door, confused.