The Emperor's Concubine

Chapter Seventy-Eight

'No... How do I even have the right to be upset... How do I have the right to be hurt, when I don't even exist in your heart?...'
The thought quickly hits me.
I relax my fists, my heart aching as my vision becomes blurry with tears welling up.
I look up at Cabel's face, instantly making eye contact.
His eyes widen as he looks back at me.
Unable to handle his gaze, I rush out of the ballroom.

"Why?" I whisper, running as far as I can, "I can't love you, I shouldn't love you... But I can't even believe in those words."
I run, lost with where I'm heading.
Tears drip down my cheeks as I run through the garden.
I stop, out of breath as I lean against a tree. I grip my chest, my heart aching intensely as if I've been stabbed.

"Luna!"
I turn as someone grabs my wrist.
I look back to see Duke Oslo.
He stands out of breath from running.
"Your grace..." I whisper, holding back my sobs.
"I never should have brought you here..." Duke Oslo quickly pulls me into him, embracing me.
I stand surprised, tears overflowing more from my eyes.
"I thought it would be fine... I-I wanted to forget about these feelings, I wanted to bury them-"
"I know. I know..." Duke Oslo cuts me off, trying to calm me down, "You can blame me... I shouldn't have suggested bringing you, I should've changed your mind, I shouldn't have left you alone..."
He holds me tightly yet gently.
I hug him back, sobbing into his chest.
"It's not your fault..." I whisper, "I-I want to leave. Please, can we go?"
"We'll leave, I'll call a carriage. I promise I won't let you near this place again."
Duke Oslo pulls away, his gloved hand lifting up to wipe my tears.
I take ragged, broken breaths attempting to calm myself.
"It's not this place... I-I knew I would be strong enough to come back... It's just I'm just not strong enough to face him..."
Duke Oslo stares into my eyes, his thumbs wiping my tears.
"Luna..." He calls out.
I stare back at his eyes.
His expression filled with frustration and pain.
He bites his lip hard, a look of desperation washing over him.
"I wanted to be patient. I wanted to wait for you..."
"What?... What do you mean?"
He takes a hold of my shoulders, his head drooped low.
"I can't stop myself anymore..." His expression turning irritated and pained, "I hate it... I hate when you're standing in front of me, crying over another man. I hate it to my core..."
"Your grace?" I whisper, taken aback by his sudden change of tone.
"Can't it be me?..." He mutters.
My eyes widen as he honestly speaks.
The gentleman facade he always wore drops as he shows his true self, expressing a chilling look in his eyes with his kind smile nowhere to be seen.
"I hate that you won't cry over me... I hate that you make me want to betray this empire... I hate that I abandoned all of my reasoning for you..." Duke Oslo smiles as if mocking himself, "How ironic... For the first time... It hurts to see a lady cry in front of me... But it hurts just because, I'm not the one you're crying over."
Magnolia's words return back to me.
The rumours she heard of his grace, using and breaking the hearts of multiple noble ladies.

Gripping the skirt of my gown, I take a deep breath as the feeling of betrayal hits me.
"What do you want from me?..." I whisper.
"What?"
"I didn't think it was true... I wanted to believe they were lies..."
Duke Oslo's brows furrow as he listens to me.
"So you've heard?" He calmly asks.
I nod, biting my lip.
"I didn't want to believe it... I wanted to believe you... So, what do you want from me?... If being kind to me was all a lie, just so you can get whatever it is you want, I'll give it to you... Just never appear before me again."
He scoffs, chuckling.
"What do I want? After all I've said, after all this time with me, you still can't even tell?"
My eyes begin to water as he admits to the rumours.
"No, I can't... I-I don't know why you've been so kind! I don't know what you want from me!" I raise my voice, distressed.
"Are your feelings for his highness blinding you that much, that you can't tell?" He raises his voice too, growing frustrated.
"No! So just tell me what you want!"
I push him back, feeling my stomach turn sick from the truth.
His hand moves to take a hold on my waist, with his other hand grasping my arm as he suddenly pulls me into him.
"How insolent." He coldly mutters.