The Emperor's Concubine

Chapter Forty-Four

"Lady Luna? Would you like some tea?" Magnolia asks.
"No, I'm okay..." I sigh, sitting back against my sofa.
I stare up at the ceiling, my chest aching.
"Would you like an early dinner then? Please eat something, my lady."
"I will in a bit... I just wish to sit here and do nothing."
"Yes, my lady... Well, if you'll excuse me..."
Magnolia bows and leaves the bedroom.
Unable to help but sigh constantly, my mind runs with thoughts on Cabel. I look around my old bedroom in the golden palace, causing the feeling of distance to grow more.
"I haven't even told you..." I whisper, feeling my eyes water.
I stand up, attempting to ignore my sadness. Picking up Hayden's cape, I smile sadly until placing it in the back of my wardrobe.
In the back of the wardrobe, I notice gold satin fabric peeking out of a box. I take the box out and see the gown I wore at the ball.
"Cabel... I miss you." Tears fall down my cheeks effortlessly as I hug the gown close to my chest.

I wake up from a nap, my eyes feeling puffy and sore.
I yawn as I sit up.

"Psst."
A voice calls out.
I look over to the balcony. Sighing, I get up exhausted, unable to help but drag my feet.
"What is it now?" I call out, opening the balcony doors.
Cethin jumps off the roof onto the balcony, smiling.
"Hey now, don't be so sad." Cethin walks, following me in.
"It's not like I'm trying to be sad for fun." I sigh, lying back in bed as I turn my back to him.
"Why? You sad for getting banished to the golden palace? It's still a palace, a lot better than the shitholes I used to live in."
"Cethin, it's not remotely close to that. I'm happy being in a place where I'm not constantly scared, I'm happy with a place where I can be free; where I can be me. I found that place here thanks to Cabel. I found it and have been so happy thanks to him, and now it seems like none of it matters because he hates me." I sit up, looking back at Cethin.
He sits cross legged on the bed as he listens.
"Damn... Where the hell did you used to live?"
"That's not the point of my story." I scoff and roll my eyes, "I just felt safe with Cabel. It was the first time in a while where someone made me feel safe, and thought of me as an actual person. But now, I made him hate me." I sigh and leaning against my hand.
"So why is it that he hates you?" He asks.
"Because you were right. You were right that Hayden had a secret, you were right that Hayden's secret was huge. But how else was I supposed to react to find out Cabel was actually Hayden?-"
"Woah, woah, woah. What? Hayden was the emperor?" Cethin's jaw drops.
"Yeah! That's the secret you knew, wasn't it?"
"Hell no! I just knew he had a secret, didn't think it was this, damn! You're in a pickle."
"Ugh, well he told me and then confessed his feelings... He assumed I didn't love him, and that I loved Hayden."
"He's mad cause he loves you, right?"
"Probably doesn't love me anymore though." I sigh, frustrated.
"Oh dear. Chicky, you got a lot of learning to do. Those books you read won't do everything for you."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that you're stupid. He can't stop loving you in a few days! He's heartbroken right now!"
"Cabel? Heartbroken? Don't joke with me."
"I'm not! He cares about you a lot, he's hurt cause the woman he loves, loves the disguise he uses. How would it make you feel?"
"I... I'd be hurt, but at the end of the day it's still me-"
I think back to Cabel's words.
"He's still him... But he's being ridiculous! Even if I did have feelings for Hayden, it would mean I have feelings for him too! I couldn't even tell him or comprehend anything he said, I was so blindsided and couldn't say anything back about his feelings. He just assumed I loved only Hayden, but I could love both versions of him, since it's still him! Ugh this entire situation's too confusing!" I throw myself back down on the bed, hiding under the blankets.
"And I thought I was dramatic, yeesh. Listen up, Chicky. He loves you and thinks you love only Hayden, but you love him already-"
I shoot up to sit, staring back at Cethin.
"What? I-I don't love Cabel."
"Oh my god, you both are so stupid. Of course you like him! Jeez, it might as well be written on a sign on your stupid foreheads that you love each other!"
"What? N-No it's not like that!-"
"Listen Chicky, I don't know who you're trying to kid. I can see in your eyes."
"See what in my eyes?" I stare at Cethin, dumbfounded as he moves to sit closer.
He stares deep into my eyes and grins.
"Listen, I have some powers. You might know but some people are born gifted with abilities or powers. His highness can disguise himself or whatever, and make shadows do whatever too, but me? I have an ability."
"W-What is it?"
"I can see people's souls. I can feel it, see it, and read it. I can read people's souls to see their strengths, but also how they feel. I can read your soul. It shows me warm colours, making me feel happy somehow. I see the emperor in your eyes, surrounded with those warm happy little colours when I look into your eyes. That tells me all I need to know that you love the emperor, so much so, that your heart and soul pulls to him. Make sense, Chicky?"
"I think?... Wait, how would you even know Hayden had a secret then?"
"I saw him in your soul. He was someone you cared about, but not the same as his highness. Although for some reason, he didn't have an aura around him. Who you hang out with, your aura and their aura gets absorbed by each other. Which is why your aura has traces of the emperor's aura, and vice versa. Usually people with no auras sold their souls to a demon or is just that weak in power, but even normal ability-less people have an aura. He had no aura when I saw your memories of him or when I saw him in person. I couldn't feel anything either, but he was somehow imprinted in your soul. I assumed he was a demon which was what I thought the secret was, but it makes more sense knowing he was disguised."
"Wouldn't it still show Cabel's aura when he pretends to be Hayden?"
"Yeah, most of the time for those who transform, but the emperor's powers are strong. He can probably mask his aura and especially when he's Hayden, he masks it well. Probably didn't want to risk being caught in a disguise by anyone. Only downside is, his mana probably drops likes crazy when he's Hayden and eventually it'll eat his soul and kill him."
"What? Is he crazy? Is that why he was sick last time?" I shout, siting up straight.
"Well, duh. He probably spent too long being transformed when he was with you. Even when that crazy guy came, his mana was dangerously low when they first started fighting. I felt a vibration in the air every time it lowered which was weird cause his soul wasn't detectable, yet no one else has that strong of an aura. But every time that feeling came, Hayden looked in pain. His mana probably emptied and he couldn't heal himself unless he let his mana eat his soul, but since he was stupid and stayed transformed, it began eating his soul anyways and had to put the energy into keeping him transformed. It's probably why he didn't use his powers, he physically couldn't."
"He's so stupid... How could he do something like that! Does he not care that he could die? What would I do if he died! How can he be such an idiot!" I jump out of bed pacing, infuriated and worried.
Cethin grins and chuckles at my reaction.
"What? Why are you laughing?" I scowl.
"Cause that's all anyone needs to hear to know that you love him."
"Huh?"
"You care about him a lot. You got mad he got hurt for you, you get flustered with him way more easily than Hayden ever made you, and you miss him, not Hayden. Here you are moping around, missing the lil' old emperor."
"Well... He was mad at me. I was just worried he'd hate me that's all... Plus Hayden doesn't actually exist so even if I did miss Hayden, it's still Cabel..."
"Oh give it up, you love him, right?"
My cheeks grow warm as I look at Cethin grinning ear to ear.
"Don't just assume!" I shout, covering my red face.
"Oh my god, drop it. You're blushing like crazy over him! You don't need to tell me I already know, but if you wanna save your first 'I love you' for him then just go over there and demand he see you. He definitely wouldn't kill you."
"Even if I try, the guards have orders to keep me in the golden palace and not let me leave."
"Ha! So he's gonna cage you up like a chicken? How stupid of him. Write a letter, I'll give him it."
"About what? That I like him?"
"No! Save it to say in person. Just write saying how you want to meet in person to talk over the misunderstanding."
"What if he says no?..."
"He won't. It'll take time for him to come, but he'll probably take a day and give in."
I roll my eyes and scoff. I stare back at Cethin and smile.
"What? Why are you staring like that?" Cethin looks back at me as if I'm crazy.
I laugh and hug him.
"Thanks... You're a good person..." I smile, looking back at him.
He blushes and looks away, scratching his head awkwardly.
"Yeah... Thanks, you too I guess... Without your plan to recruit us we wouldn't find a fun place to call home... So thanks, you're a good person too." Cethin mutters.
I giggle, feeling comforted by Cethin. I jump up, sitting at my table as I quickly write a note.
I watch as Cethin leaves through the balcony with the note, swinging from the ledge onto a tree before disappearing to the royal palace.