In The Fight To Survive (Golden Trio Era) {4}

Uncomfortable Realisations

Sergi tried to prevent himself from spilling the truth by shutting his mouth as tightly as he could, but as soon as his eyes began to bulge, the words came tumbling down. "Oh, I hit him with a sleeping charm after he set this all up and then stuffed him into your wardrobe, so you wouldn't see him." Mikayla narrowed her eyes at the other boy, "why did you decide to come after me? I know you believe in what the Order is doing, and what exactly was your plan for tonight?" A gasp came from behind her, Mikayla knew it came from Molly, but she didn't move as she awaited Sergi's answer.

"An old friend, Graham Montague, got in contact with me last month. He wanted revenge for his mother's death and offered me 100,000 Galleons to kill you for him. He didn't care how I would do it, just asked me to ensure it was slow and painful, to make you suffer." The wicked grin that drew itself on Fred's face due to Sergi's lack of remorse for his murder attempt made Mikayla's stomach turn. "My mother is on the verge of losing her house because she can't pay for it because she's in hiding, and my brother and I don't exactly get paid for our loyalty to the Order. Graham knew your death would be the final nail in the Order's coffin, and despite his mother's devotion to the Order's cause and his own political beliefs aligning with ours, it was a sacrifice he was willing to make for justice for Hazel."

A conflicted look crossed over Mikayla's face, riffling through every memory she had of Hazel, the older woman had explicitly told her that both her Husband and Son were loyal servants of Voldemort. Sergi's forced honesty contradicted this information, was it possible that Graham was so good at pretending to support the Blood Supremacist Agenda that he had fooled his own mother? It was possible, but felt very unlikely in her mind, perhaps Hazel feared that the Order would try to recruit her son and force him more into the war than he already was. Voldemort had very few young people in his ranks, mostly the children of his longest supporters, but he rarely weaponised this part of his army.

Draco Malfoy was his only exception to this rule, he was pushed head first into a mission unfit for a child, but that was out of punishment for his father's failure. Most of the members of the Order were initially recruited just out of school or after their seventeenth birthday by their founder Dumbledore, and shame struck her so intensely that she had to lock away the thought until she could fully dissect it. "The whole world knows that it is your stupid unwavering hope and determination that has kept the Order strong after Dumbledore's death, a seventeen year-old girl made strong by the trauma she was put through." Mikayla found herself scoffing at the silly impression that she'd given everyone that her trauma was what made her strong.

"My trauma didn't make me strong, it turned me into someone who is always paranoid, anxious, and doesn't know how to properly relax without feeling guilty. Love is what made me strong, love for myself, and the love I have for everyone that I surround myself with. Now, make your point faster, please." Sergi rolls his eyes at the interruption and the order she gave, "you refuse to take the responsibility to lead the Order but still try to control every aspect of the organisation. Nothing is done unless you approve of it, yet when shit hits the fan, you're not the one to take blame or face the consequences of your decisions. The world doesn't care what you've been through, trauma is not an excuse for poor decisions or lack of forethought."

Mikayla opened her mouth to steer Sergi back on course to answering her initial question, but he ignored her attempt and continued on without a breath. "Instead the responsibility of failures is flipped back onto us, because it couldn't be poor Mikayla's fault. Oh but her step-dad used to beat her, feel sorry for her because her uncle molested her a few times. How could it be her fault? Her mother died when she was young, not to mention her ex-boyfriend and dad were murdered right in front of her. And let's not forget her step-sister sacrificed herself for the greater good, how could you blame the girl who has lost so much for the difficult choices she's made that winded up with others getting hurt or killed! Have you ever even considered that perhaps it's you that is the problem, that you are the curse that will destroy us all?!"

The truth is yes, of course, it's no secret that Mikayla has considered that she was a curse, that it was her fault when people she loved died. The young blonde has lost many internal battles over this ideal, outwardly proclaiming it when she felt like pushing people away was the best way to protect them from the world's horrors. However, this was the first time that someone else had spoken her deepest fears, a person disguised as her future husband, and yet, it didn't feel all that soul crushing as she anticipated it would be. "Don't try to villainise me just to justify the fact that you were willing to end my life for money." Mikayla hissed, surprising herself by her own words, she straightened up before deciding to continue.

"Look, there is only one person on this earth that I allow to see me struggle, because I don't want to risk causing a chain reaction and destroying all that the Order has built. Although, it is true that you all look to me for guidance, but that's why none of you have seen me slow down. I can't afford to allow myself to fall apart over every mistake made, not if I want to better the world. And I'm in no way blind to the fact that those around me get hurt, or in extreme cases die, and despite what you may think I do feel responsible for everyone outside of the Dark Lord's ranks. However, I'm not going to take the blame for fate fulfilling itself. I can postpone most tragedies, trying to prevent them from occurring at all while doing so, but I learned the hard way that you can't stop destiny from happening."

Mikayla almost jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand on her shoulder, swinging around to see Remus. "We'll handle this, why don't you wake up Fred? I'm sure he'll have plenty to say to his impostor." Mikayla sighed as she took note of the worried look on all her allies' faces, apart from Arthur, who was looking at her with a proud grin on his face. She smiled back at him, looking down at Sergi one more time as he slowly began to become himself again. "Alright, tell them exactly what your plan was for tonight?" Mikayla stepped over the struggling boy, who was trying his hardest to break his binds. As she strode across the bathroom, towards the door where Molly, Arthur and Tonks were standing, "thank you for coming, sorry if I woke you up, I just didn't know who else I could call."

Mikayla's admission was followed by her handing Tonks over Sergi's wand, and Molly immediately pulling her into a hug. "No need to thank or apologise to us dear, we're just glad that you're okay." She whispered to her adopted daughter, Mikayla squeezing her a little more to confirm that she was truly okay. "And I doubt that George, Charlie or Angelina were going to be any help to you with how Merry they were tonight." Arthur adds while briefly squeezing her shoulder, before she pulls away from the two of them. "I best go find my boyfriend." She mumbled mostly to herself while exiting the bathroom.