baby it's you // olly murs

20 - why him?

Olly and I looked at each other, before launching off the bed and running out of the door. I stopped dead in my tracks. I heard Olly gasp behind me.

Please don't let this be true.

Please don't let that be my little boy lying on the floor, blood coming out of a gauge in his head.

---

"Miss Dawson, please, wait here." The nurse has told me umpteen times. I keep asking doctors, nurses and even security guards about him. I was going out of my mind.

"Tell me about my bloody son, then!" she frowned at me.

"Please don't take that tone with me, Miss Dawson." I sat down on the ground, nearly pulling my hair out. Someone hoisted me up and sat me on their lap, kissing my hair and trying to calm me down by telling me soothing words. I knew exactly who it was. Olly.

"O-olly," I literally couldn't speak, "I-I'm s-sca-red."

"I know, baby. I know." At that moment I couldn't care less that he called me baby. My mind was just focused on Josh.

"Olly?"

"Hmm?"

"Sing to me?" I asked.

"We're in a hospital, there's people around." He said, chuckling.

"We're in the visitors room, there's no one here. Please." He sighed and I felt him nodding against my head.

I remember the times when I was ill, or I was on my period, or I had an argument with my parents or something, he'd always sing to me. His voice soothes me. It's angelic. I don't know how he does it, but he just calms me down, so much.

"When I look into your eyes

It's like watching the night sky

Or a beautiful sunrise

Well, there's so much they hold

And just like them old stars

I see that you've come so far

To be right where you are

How old is your soul?

Well, I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space

To do some navigating

I'll be here patiently waiting

To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn

Some even fall to the earth

We've got a lot to learn

God knows we're worth it

No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily

I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make

Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use

The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake

And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend

For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn

We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in

I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up, still looking up.

Well, I won't give up on us

God knows I'm tough enough

We've got a lot to learn

God knows we're worth it

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up"

By the time he finished, I was nearly in tears. "Olly...that was-"

"Miss Dawson, Mr Murs. You can see Joshua now."

I pounced off Olly's lap and literally sprinted after the nurse to where Josh was.

"No damage was done. Just a slight concussion. As he's young, we're going to keep him in for a couple of days. Stay strong, Miss Dawson." The nurse said, stroking my arm and leaving in the other direction. I opened the door and saw Josh, with a bandage around his head.

"No...no...he's 3! Why has this happened to him, Olly? Why!" I shouted, pounding my heads on his chest. I had no energy left. I liked to think that I was hurting him, but I wasn't. "Just go home!" Why am I pushing him away? He's here now. He's not going anywhere? You need to stop pushing him away. I turned around and walked towards Josh. "It should be me, not my little boy." I whispered, as I kissed Josh's good side of his head.

I grabbed a nearby chair, and sat down, holding a sleeping Josh's hand. "Olly..." I said, looking over to the door, expecting to see Olly. But he wasn't there. Did he really go? I heart faint sobs coming from outside the door. I got up and opened the door, seeing Olly with his head in his hands, crying.

When we were together, I only saw him cry a couple of times. And most of them were at movies or when Manchester United lost at a footie match. He was strong. I've never seen him cry like this before. I knelt before him and grabbed his hands, pulling him up.

"C'mon," I muttered, "your son needs you."