Cilan x Male!Reader

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A request by Livingsolo909 who caught me just after I was finished writing something else entirely. So I just copied and redone my oneshot stop beating right now.  Not poke-inspired rn. I think I'm losing inspiration for Pokémon.... also she didn't ask for a Male right evader me I just did it because the prewritten oneshot wasn't about a lesbian couple sooooooo....

Okay, I'm done. Let's get on with storytime, ya? TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION

Your fists were tucked in your pockets, barely gripping onto your own fingers. The most amazing guy was standing right in front of you. His back was to you, yet he was the most stunning person in the world.

Cilan Striaton had to be the most handsome freshman in the entire world. You were so lucky to have Cilan as your best friend. But you are greedy and wanted Cilan as more. So much more.

The room was flooded with shades of gray. Blue-gray, light gray, dark gray, shiny gray, steel gray, dull gray, lead gray, black. It was a depressing hallway going down the stairs with rusting silver railings and black wood steps, but it felt like there was no room. And you were claustrophobic.

"Cilan?"

The greenette stopped in his tracks and turned to face Yoj. His shimmering, determined, headstrong emerald eyes pouring into your insecure ones. His hair perfectly placed atop his head. He was like a supermodel.

 "You okay (Your name)? You're looking pale. Come on, we're almost there."

Cialn took your wrist into his grasp and turned back, starting to drag you down the stairs. Nobody else was on the staircase, just you and Cilan. You was dying in your own skin, shaking in some sort of terror. Terror? What terror? Panic was a better word.

"Cilan, stop."

The greenette didn't hear the Your soft whisper, your soft plea for help. You were feeling like there was no way out. Your anxiety was getting to your head, and your mind was shrieking in fear.

"Cilan. Stop."

No use. He kept his fist clenched around your wrist and pursued the task of getting down the seemingly infinite staircase. You used her free hand to clutch your jacket around her body, hididng the dazzling and revealing outfit underneath. Cilan's dress pants and black vest top shifted with every motion of her legs. They moved with purpose.

"CILAN STOP!!!"

You shrieked and fell to the stair, barely making it on And catching your breath. Your jacket flashed her body revealing the coordinator uniform underneath as warm wet tears made their way over your cheeks. You were a coordinator in Unova. The Univan government premitted contests to start being held.

Cilan hand let go of you in shock and he halted, turning on his heels to see you having an anxiety attack. He cursed herself under his breath before crouching in front of her best friend, fiddling in your backback for something.

"It's gonna be okay, (Your name) I'll get your inhaler and everything will be fine. I'm sorry."

"C...Ci....Cilan..."

Your firsts clutched the clothing right over her heart as you gasped for air desperately.

"Cilan...I....I..."

You were scared. The walls were closing in on you and the grays all were screaming at you to get a grip. Nobody would love a worthless, pathetic, loser like you. Why does Cilan even care anyway? You love Cilan, but you didn't know how he'd react to her best friend loving him, let alone being a gay faggot.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Your heartbeat cried out to you, banging on the inside of your chest and hitting your fists hard through the cerulean coordinator outfit. Your chest was tightening inside the uniform.

Cilan was on the verge of panicking. Where was that stinking inhaler?! His best friend was having a panic attack and here he was screwing up everything! When his fingertips brushed the familiar object he sighed In relief and grasped it, pulling it free from the bag it was held captive in.

"Got it, (Your name)! Here, take this."

He lifted it up to your lips but you closed her eyes, shook your head, and flung your tears everywhere. You started to have a coughing fit and Cilan gasped to herself. What was happening to his best friend?

The voices in your head were getting unbearable. Trying isn't enough! You're a loser! Cilan probally hates you! He just pities you too much to leave you! Worthless! Freak! Loser! Lame! Go doe in a hole! Let this panic attack kill you! Die already!

Thump

Thump

Thump

Your heart began beating faster and the flood of tears intensified. You aren't enough for Cilan, you weren't enough for anybody. That's why your Mom left your and Dad for that rich guy. That's why Dad calls you a filthy faggot of a son. That's why you only have one friend, and it's Cilan. But Cilan wouldn't love a piece of scum under his feet, right? Why not stop breathing?

Cilan was panicking. His green hair went frizzy and his eyes searched the staircase for answers. Gray. Gray. More gray. He tried to make her take the inhaler, but you wouldn't let him give you it. That was the only way he knew how to get you to calm down. The inhaler always worked! Why now?! Oh god.

"I'm...sorry..."

"(Your name)! Please! Take the medicine, you'll be okay! (Your name) please!"

"Sorry...for...being a...burden..."

"You're no burden, (Your name)! I swear! I need you to be okay! Please take the inhaler!"

"I...love....you..."

Thump.

Thump.

Th...ump

Th..ump..

Th...u...mp...

Stop Beating now

Let the attack take your life

Nobody will miss you

The voices were whispering these thoughts into your ear. You listened. You closed her eyes and complied with the dull grays of the room.

Th...u...mp...

Th...u...m...p

No more thumps.

(Your name) (Middle Initial) (Last Name), age 14, died of a panic attack on January 7th, 2015. Cilan M. Striaton witnessed his death and committed suicide due to overdose of ibeprofun he had in his backpack no more than seven minutes later. The whole thing was caught on the security film of the First Unova Contst Hall

Rest In Peace, And pray you meet again in the Next life.

Again, a prewritten work. Sorry.

~Eva

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