Waiting; Bradley Simpson

'makes me feel useless'

'I'll give you anything you want. I just want you to love me again.' He cried even harder than before. He didn't even bother to wipe the tears that were falling down his face.

'Listen Brad. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. You are the best thing to have ever happened to me. I mean it when I say I wouldn't have anyone but you. We're having a baby together! I cannot wait to start a family with you Brad.' I spoke, tears also spilling from my eyes. 

He stared at me for a moment before he pulled me into a bear hug. 'I'm so sorry El. I am.' He whispered. 'That's okay, now do you want to go home and cuddle?' I said quietly. He nodded and called Con in.

We both thanked him and apologised for disturbing him. I got Brad into the car and usually he'd rest his hand on my thigh or something, but he didn't. He sat like he was a stranger and not my Brad.

We got into the house and went straight to bed. I took off my joggers and climbed into bed whilst Brad stripped down to his boxers.

We both climbed into bed, usually we would cuddle up and talk but not tonight. I sighed turning on my bedside lamp.

'Brad what is wrong?' I said loudly. He turned to look at me, his eyes still red. 'What do you mean?' He acted stupid.

'You're barely touching me, it's like I have some sort of disease.' I said growing frustrated. His face dropped once I said that. That's when it clicked.

'Brad this isn't about what I said in Asda?' I questioned. He looked down at the sheets and nodded. 'You know I didn't mean that.'

'Yeah but El how do you think I feel when I'm out in public with you and there is men of all ages drooling over you? How do you think I feel when I'm stood right next to you and men are flirting with you?' He said with more tears running down his face. 'It makes me feel useless.'

The next thing I knew, I was a sobbing mess. 'You really think I want them to do that? Do you think I flirt back?' I questioned him. He let out a shaky breathe and shook his head.

'Earlier when I was alone, I was shitting myself Brad and when I called you clingy I didn't mean it. Because when I was alone I found myself missing all of your affection.' I grabbed his hands and rubbed them.

'I love you.' He croaked. 'I love you too,' I said as I pressed my lips against his. 'Now cuddle me man!' I joked and he laughed for the first time in what felt like forever.

As we were cuddling he said, 'By the way Jesse is at Con's. I uh- I took her on a walk earlier to to the park and stopped at the off licence and ended up at Con's since his place was closer.'

I nodded knowing everything was sorted and Jesse was safe. 'How about we pick her up later and take her for a walk then call to a cafe in the morning?' I asked him.

'Yeah I'd like that.' I could hear the smile in his voice. I checked the time and it was 5:30AM. 'Right we better get to sleep. Night, I love you.' I whispered to him. 'Goodnight, I love you both.' He replied resting his hands on my stomach.

-

'El.' I heard the Brummie voice say. I opened my eyes and seen Brad standing with a tray of fruit, croissants and 2 glasses of orange juice.

He smiled down at me, placing the tray on the table beside me before leaning down and giving me a kiss. 'Well Simpson someone is trying to get into my good books.' I teased as he chuckled.

He handed me the tray and climbed back under the sheets beside me. 'It's 10AM so I thought we could get ready then head to Con's to get Jesse and go to the park with her?' He asked whilst eating some fruit.

'Yeah that's fine, the girls and Con aren't coming until about 5PM so that gives us plenty of time.' I looked up at him smirking.

He shook his head, 'We can't El, believe me I want to so fucking bad but I'm afraid of hurting the baby or something.' He admitted.

'Okay but we'll make up for it after, we can just help each other out until then.' I said kissing his cheek.

-

Me and Brad were both in the car on the way to Con's place. We were all good again and I couldn't be happier.

The journey to Con's was only about 10 minutes, it was a comfortable silence we sat in with music playing through the speaker.

We arrived at Con's and Brad ran into get Jesse seeing as it's too early for Con to be awake and he has a key to get in.

2 minutes later Brad reappeared but with Jesse now attached to her lead. She was trailing Brad with her as I sat laughing at them. Brad put her in the back of the car and climbed back in the drivers seat beside me.

'Hello Jesse.' I cooed as she stuck her head in between me and Brad's seats. I petted her before she lay down in the back.

-

Once we arrived at the park Brad opened my door and insisted on helping me out before he opened the back door to get Jesse out.

Once he has Jesse calmed down and was holding her lead he reached his free hand out, clutching my hand between his.

We walked along the park scattered with trees and flowers along with the odd family laughing and smiling together. I can't believe that soon that will be me and Brad.

We took a seat on an empty bench in the middle of the green land as Jesse sat at our feet playing with a twig.

I watched as the family of 4, a mother and father along with a little girl and younger boy all chased each other about the area of grass, kicking a football and laughing to each other whilst doing so.

Brad's thumb began to stroke the back of my hand causing me to look up at him. As I looked up at him I seen him watch the family in front of us, a small playing on his lips.

I sat looking at him long enough for him to catch me admiring him. 'I can't wait to start our family.' He whispered before placing our linked hands on top of my bump.