the shit that goes on at wellston | chatfic

target carts

Blick - Blyke

Asslo - Arlo

[5:32 pm]

Asslo: doc gave me a shit ton of medicine and told me not to drink any alcohol

Asslo: so ill be delivering the champagne to john today morning

John: good

Asslo: wait but

Asslo: seraphina can't be good at everything

Sera: oh yes i am

Asslo: she must be a bad kisser

John: no she's good at that too

Asslo: ill take your word for it

Sera: see?

John: i know your weakness @sera

Sera: john please no

[private chat]

John: that 98 on your english test

Sera: oh please no

John: i wont tell

Sera: oh thank goodness

John: but what am i going to get in return?

Sera: idk

John: i have some ideas

Sera: what

John: you help me

Sera: yes????

John: clean my dorm it's so messy

Sera: i was hoping you would ask for something else....

John: no

[group chat]

Blick: so john...

John: what do you want you rip-off light saber

Blick: QwQ

Blick: hey soooo

Blick: do you think you could tidy up my dorm

John: you must have some ulterior motive

John: SERA ARE YOU CHEATING

Sera: ofc not

Sera: and with blick? Ew no

John: good

John: also to answer your question blick no

Blick: fine

Isen: eeyyyy

Isen: we ready to do the thing today?

Blick: this is gc

Remi: ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME WITH THAT ORANGE CHEETO

Isen: what

Isen: NO

Isen: WE'RE PLANNING TO SHOPLIFT A SHOPPING CART FROM TARGET

Elaine: whooo

Asslo: k so the alcohol's on your doorstep john

John: k

Elaine: wait arlo do u need help

Asslo: i do not

Asslo: shoplifting is a serious crime

Blick: eh meh

Sera: do it guys do it

John: whooo

[8:33 pm]

Isen: k so you enter the store and ill distract them, okay?

Blick: on it

Asslo: they're actually doing it

John: the fucking dumbasses are doing it

Remi: guys no! We all thought you were joking!

Isen: we weren't

Isen: ikjosdfj

Isen: uwiehrngj

[twenty minutes later]

Blick: LADS WE DID IT

Sera: aHEM

Blick: LADS AND LADDIES WE DID IT

Sera: good

Isen: WHOOOO

Blick: that cart is now resting at home

John: how did you do it

Isen: I acted drunk and kept running into things

Isen: then i ran around the store with this purse

Isen: everybody was chasing me while blick disabled the security cameras

Isen: then i ran out the fire escape and blended in with the crowd and got tf out of there

Blick: it was e x h i l i r a t i n g

John: wtf are you gonna do with that thing?

Isen: idk

Blick: it's our achievement

John: wow that champagne is s t r o n g

Sera: the bubbles make it stronger

John: ah 

coming next:

John: DAMN IT, BLICK

John: HOW MANY TVS WILL YOU KILL