the shit that goes on at wellston | chatfic

bananas, shrimp, and teachers

Blick - Blyke

Asslo - Arlo

[5:53 pm]

Asslo: so i was walking to school

Asslo: and banana fuck taps me on the shoulder so i turn around, getting ready to put my barrier up

Asslo: bUT THIS BITCH LITERALLY JUMPS UP AND GIVES ME AN OPEN MOUTH KISS

Elaine: ill kill her

Asslo: i brought her to vaughn

Asslo: vaughn said that what she did was sexual assault so she got suspended for two weeks and her family had to pay a fine to mine

John: im so tired i want to sleep

Sera: then come back to bed

John: i have to get up

Isen: total change of subject

Sera: i thought this was a private chat

John: same

Blick: oOpS--

Remi: come back to bed

Remi: not go back to bed

Remi: yall sleeping together or smth

Sera: nOoOo

John: oF cOuRsE nOt

Remi: (－‸ლ)

Blick: remi are you okay i heard weird noises

Remi: regurgitated shrimp

Asslo: can we stop talking about vomit for like oNE FUCKING SECOND

John: no

Sera: no

Isen: no

Blick: no

Elaine: no

Remi: no

Asslo: all right then

Remi: oH SHIT NOT AGAIN

Blick: that didn't sound good

Sera: i heard it

Elaine: im gonna heal you

Remi: thank you

[fifteen minutes later]

Remi: i'M cUrEdDdD

Elaine: that took so much energy

John: wait elaine come here

Elaine: okay...

John: oh yeah her aura's really weak

John: blick must've tried to poison remi or some shit

Blick: rEMI I LOVE YOU I CARE FOR YOU I WOULD NEVER TRY TO HURT YOU

Remi: i forgive you

John: wHAT THE FCUK

John: if sera gives me food poisoning that bad id at least need some time alone

Sera: but i wont because you cook

John: unrelated but how do you get this fucking nail polish off

Sera: wait you still have that on

John: i have one little bit on my index finger and iT WON'T COME OFF

Sera: it's in the bathroom

John: k

Elaine: @asslo how come i never sleep over

Asslo: because we both know we'd ruin sera's fruit counter

Sera: i slice my fruit there

Blick: ey you guys left a note on my sandwich counter

Blick: it says "john you're not a monster"

Sera: that was for JOHN

John: i just returned from getting my acetone

John: in history class the teacher was talking about bad people in history and called one of them a "monstrous tyrant"

Sera: oh yeah

John: i legit stood up and took a valium in front of her and then she realized my issues and let me chill in the infirmary where i proceeded to silently sob

Sera: did you get the tears on tape

John: fuck yeah

Blick: what the flippety fuck is wrong with you two

coming next:

Asslo: i hate my life

John: i literally have over three mental illnesses but yeah your life is so much worse