the shit that goes on at wellston | chatfic

that shit's as bitter as your personality

Blick - Blyke

Asslo - Arlo

Calid - Isen

[1:03 am]

John: wHAT THE FUCK SERAPHINA

Sera: im so sorry john

Calid: ughhh what happened

Blick: you better not have contaminated my sandwich counter

Blick: again

Sera: wellllll

Blick: damn it

John: she dropped the thing of knives onto my feet

Sera: im sorry

John: IT FUCKING HURTS AHHH

Sera: ill carry you to the infirmary

John: nah i can walk

Sera: bitch you are leaving puddles of blood wHAT KIND OF PAIN TOLERANCE DO YOU HAVE

John: i pretended to be a cripple for about a year and a half

Sera: true

John: give me your ability

Sera: kk

Calid: john's ability is so op

Blick: i wish i had it

John: stop simping over me im in a relationship

Calid: i wasnt simping

John: yeah you were

Sera: focus, john, focus

[15 minutes later]

John: i have le crutches

Sera: no more sandwich counter

John: im too jumpy to finish it

John: like are you gonna take out my eye cecile-style now?

Remi: guys i need to sleep

John: turn off your fucking notifications

Asslo: damn it

Asslo: i need a drink

John: apparently i cant mix champagne with valium so ig you can take mine

Asslo: you already dropped off the empty bottles at my door for me to throw away a few days ago

Sera: i drank the rest on a particularly bad night

John: what happened

Sera: perfectionism

Sera: don't make a fucking joke out of it

John: i would never

Sera: i forced myself to study for thirty hours straight after getting a 99

John: it's all gonna be okay

Sera: im gonna cry

John: let's sob together

[5:34 pm, next day]

John: i invented a new game

John: every time i feel depressed, i take a valium

Sera: that's called a drug addiction you fucking donkey

Calid: we need to take john's valium away

Sera: are you fucking kidding me

Sera: he has such bad nightmares he literally punched me in the face one night

John; im sorry about that

John: we're even now actually bc you dropped fucking knives on my foot

Remi: oh btw john how are you doing

John: eh meh

John: i can walk but i need crutches

Elaine: i saw this whole horde of girls snap pictures of john hobbling around the school

Elaine: i think one of them made it their profile picture

John: what the fuck

Sera: i have a picture of me sitting in john's lap as my lock screen so that people know

Sera: h e i s f u c k i n g t a k e n

John: chill, i hate stalker people

John: *ahem* isen *ahem*

Calid: (;-;)

Blick: nobody obsesses over me

Remi: are you fucking kidding

Sera: remi breaking out that cursing

Remi: i saw this salmonella-haired girl snap a picture of you after gym class and literally drool

John: why are people so crazy about the royals

Sera: idk

Elaine: i saw this one nerd take a burst of 50 photos of seraphina when she had that tiny skirt

Sera: WHAT

Sera: tHAT WAS JUST ONE DAY I OUTGREW MY OTHER ONES AHJFNLJSDNLJKSD

John: we will hunt him down and make him pay

Blick: i saw banana fuck take sooo many pictures of asslo when she wasn't suspended

John: you don't need to write "when she wasn't suspended' we all know dumbass

[7:03 pm]

Isen: im separating the red mnms into another bowl to eat all by myself because ik blyke like the red ones

Blick: wHYYYY

Blick: YOU WILL PAY

John: i hate candy

Sera: so do i

Asslo: i like 100% cacao dark chocolate

John: that shit's as bitter as your fucking personality

Asslo:

Elaine: i like taffy

John: that shit's as hard to eat as you are to be around

Remi: i like all candy, especially gummies

John: gummies are the equivalent of a sticky, useless person

Blick: i like kitkats

John: kitkats are worthless

Sera: hOW DARE YOU

Sera: KITKATS ARE OKAY-ISH

John: chill

John: boba?

Sera: ofc you have that buy one get one free thing

Sera: and you are buying me one and giving me one for free

John: what about me?

Sera: s t a r v e b i t c h

John:

Sera: im kidding but i still want two

John: i can work with that

coming next:

John: eh idk they have some weird power fetish