the shit that goes on at wellston | chatfic

𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒 𝕓𝕦𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕒 𝕞𝕠𝕡

Lie - Blyke

Calid - Isen

Fok - Arlo

Thirty - Seraphina 

Rind - Remi

Thirty: I poured out all of John's hair gel >:3

John: y u do me like dat

Thirty: Because you look 100x hotter without it

John: yeah, but...

John: some guy asked for my signature the other day cuz he thought I looked like a movie star

Rind: I was there

John: you were?

Rind: I was looking for watermelons

Calid: hence, rind

Rind: and I see John beating the everliving shit out of a papaya

Thirty: uh, what now?

John: In my defense, I thought you had to squeeze it to feel its ripeness

Lie: You have to squeeze it

Lie: Not murder it in the middle of a U-Mart

Fok: Is that why I saw some poor employee spritzing yellow shit off the floor

Elaine: Honestly I thought some kid knelt before the porcelain throne

Calid: what in the flippety fucking name of sweet powdered donuts was that monstrosity?!

Elaine: I'm trying out a new expression rather than bleh bleh

John: But bleh bleh's a classic!

Elaine: Bleh bleh to you, johnny boy

Thirty: Lo

Thirty: l

John: wtf

Thirty: soerry

Thirty: Sorry

Fok: "Soerry"? I don't remember Queen Seraphina being this reckless

Thirty: Lmao you sound like my mother

John: What's your mom's #

Thirty: oh hell no

Thirty: i got an A- yesterday you better not call her

John: remember when I gave you a B- on that project

Thirty: perfect sera went and had a mental breakdown in her dorm

Elaine: i remember that

Elaine: I kept showing you your A+s and 100s but you were so hellbent on that B- and drenched your bed in tears

John: I'm sorry sera

Thirty: It's fine, I explained it to the teacher and she gave me most of my points back

John:

John: But we got 92--

Thirty: AND I WANTED A PERFECT SCORE BUT WE WON'T GET THAT, WILL WE?

Lie: seems to me like you're still a bit bent on achieving an impossible standard

Thirty: FUCK YOU

Thirty: FUCK OFF

Thirty: FUCK EVERYTHING

Thirty: I'M SO DONE

John: oop-

John: she smashed her phone the way I do

Calid: Wow, the great and mighty seraphina crumbled

John: she's gonna have your head for saying that

[1 hour and 40 minutes later]

John has added Seraphina to the chat.

Seraphina: I bought a new phone

Seraphina: I will murder all of you in your sleep if you associate me with perfection

Seraphina: Now excuse me while I steal John's hoodie and make him search for it until he begs me to give it back to him

John: WAIT WHAT

John: I don't do this

John: YOU'RE NOT TAKING IT

John: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Elaine: I heard scuffling

Fok: Lmao same

Rind: wtf is going on in there

Rind: ELAINE GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AHHHHH THEY CRASHED THROUGH A WAP

Rind: WALL

Rind: WALL DAMMIT WALL NOT WAP WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Elaine: First of all

Elaine: I'm coming you little bitch

Elaine: And second of all

Elaine: bring a bucket and a mop

Fok: Just get over there

Elaine: fiiiine

Calid: OH SHIT

Calid: The hoodie ripped

Lie: If you're there then I'm coming over there too

Calid: They're both fighting each other now

[ten whole minutes later]

Seraphina: owch

Seraphina: my arm is shattered and john looks dead

John: im nrot daed

John: hael emeeee

Seraphina: rename me

John has renamed Seraphina to Thritiy.

Thritiy: wtf john

John: ssssrroy

Thritiy: change me back

John has reset Thritiy's name.

Seraphina: good boy

Elaine: i'll heal u!

coming next:

Rind: Isen made it this time!!

Calid: wait wuh