What I never knew I always wanted (Robsten story) -ON HOLD

A new day

Getting up the next morning, Kristen headed down to the kitchen like nothing had happened. Knowing she was hiding a secret. Little did she knew...he knew.

As she sipped her coffee her mind immediately went to Kace, hoping he was settling in alright. She had promised herself she would not be a parent to obsess over how her son was doing every single minute. She trusted Alise and knew if anything was truly wrong. She would know.

Her mind also went back to one of a few scary incidents they had with kace since he had been home

Flashback

Rob had taken over for her while she showered and got dinner started. It was rare these days for her to get a shower in. She had the day shift with Kace and by the time that was over she was always too tired to shower and Rob would take the night shift.

"Kristen!" Robs frantic voice came down the stairs. She literally dropped everything and headed upstairs.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she entered the nursery. Only then did the monitors beeping register in her mind.

"It's not working" he growled as he tried suctioning Kace.

"Let me try," she took over trying to suction him but she was getting a ton of resistance.

They both looked at the monitor as it gave one last beep and then went to zero.

"Fuck, Robert, you bag him. You know how to do it better than I do! I'll call 911..."she couldn't believe what was happening. Was this how this was going to end?

She went back to his bedside when she was finished. She was shaking so hard feeling herself about to lose it.

"I love you, buddy, please just hold on for momma" She whispered. At this point, his oxygen and heart rate had returned but it was weak. Everything else was a blur after that. All she remembered was being shooed to the waiting room to wait along with Rob after they got to the hospital.

Airway obstruction was what it turned out to be, basically, Kace would cough when he needed to be suctioned and at this time the ball of secretions had gotten too big for his throat and too lodged for the suction machine, essentially he was suffocating on his own spit.

End of flashback

It was hardly mentioned after it happened. Kace stayed overnight for observation but that was all. She thought for sure they were going to lose him that day. Sure they had plenty other times that they came close but by far that was the scariest.

She was pulled out of her daze by his voice purring into her ear.

"Kris, we need to talk"

She knew then that he knew.....her dirty little secret. "What about?"

"You know what Kris......"

"Rob....I..."

"Why? That's what I wanna know."

Kristen sighed and went and sat on the couch placing her head into her hands.

"I really don't know Rob, I don't even remember. One minute I saw the razor....next thing I know I snapped back in reality and saw what I did."

He sat down and wrapped his arm around her. He sees the tears trickling down her cheeks.

"Just please don't do it again alright love?"

"I promise" she whispered looking into his eyes.

"Good, I would rather a not have another mental health crisis in this house and I will be checking you."