Chapter 13: What is happening?

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Jaemin was going through similar feelings as Chenle's.

Because also Jeno looked hot, dancing to "Baby don't stop".

He couldn't tear his eyes away. Jeno got him in a trance.

He was a tiny little bit jealous over the fact that also a lot of fans were watching this moment right now.

He wanted Jeno all for himself. If that would only be possible.

God, was he in love with Jeno.
If only Jeno would see this and be a brave man. But he knew, Jeno was a coward. He would never risk anything.

So Jaemin had to push him.
To get what he wanted.
What they wanted.

The whole day Jaemin kept stealing glances at Jeno and sometimes he would find the other look back.

But he realized that Jeno was a little bit more cold than usal.
And that made Jaemin afraid.

Normally Jeno would smile at him. But today? Not a single smile.

Jaemin tried to calm himself, saying that Jeno probably just had a bad day.

Nothing happened between them, right? So what should be wrong?

Jeno, on the other side, wanted Jaemin to stop looking at him.
He thought that maybe his cold gazes would make him stop, but nothing.

He just couldn't endure this whole situation anymore.
His feelings for Jaemin became a problem, because he couldn't concentrate anymore on anything.
His whole mind was plagued by Jaemin.

He needed to end this. To stop his feelings.
Easier said than done, Jeno knew this. But he had to try.
Because this wouldn't work any longer.
Than otherwise Jeno would go crazy. He would freak out and this would help no one.

So no more cuddles, no more sleeping in Jaemin's bed, no more secret glances in Jaemin's direction, and no more flirting, not even for fanservice.

It was late evening, when Jaemin caught Jeno on the way back from the bathroom.

The other members were already asleep, when Jaemin heard someone walking around the dorm.
In hope that it would be Jeno, he went to the living room.

When Jeno entered the living room, his eyes immediately landed on Jaemin's.

Jeno gulped. This was not good.
Jaemin wore an oversized t-shirt and short sweatpants and he looked more than adorable. He also had the little pout on his face, which drove Jeno crazy.

When Jeno looked closer, he realized that it was his shirt, which Jaemin was wearing. Probably the other had stolen it from his wardrobe without him realizing it.

"Why don't you come and sleep in my bed tonight?", Jaemin asked in a cute voice.

"We can't do that anymore", Jeno answered coldly.

"Why not?", Jaemin stood up from the couch and walked closer to Jeno.

But with every step forward, Jeno took one step backward.

"Jaemin, stop", Jeno said in a really deep voice, which made Jaemin stop.

"Is something wrong? You are acting really mean today", Jaemin asked in a concerned and hurt voice.

"Nothing is wrong. I should just stop sleeping in your bed. You are a grown up boy, act like one", Jeno said harshly.

"Okay, something is definetly wrong. Where is the kind Jeno, I know? Why do you treat me like this?", Jaemin asked, close to tears.

"Like what, Jaemin? I just say that we shouldn't sleep together anymore", Jeno answered bored.

"Yes, but you say it like you hate me."

"I don't hate you and you know that", Jeno said still with no emotion in his voice.

"What are you so afraid of? Why can't you sleep in my bed anymore? Chenle and Jisung are also doing it all the time.", Jaemin was slightly getting angry.

"But that is not the same", Jeno whisper-shouted.

"Why is it not the same?", Jaemin asked in the same volume.

"Jaemin, you know why and I won't keep on discussing with you.", Jeno turned around to his bedroom door.

"Fine. So you are still a coward. Lee Jeno, never fights for anything. Not even the important things for him. Because he is to scared for the things that matter in life-"

Jaemin got interrupted by Jeno, who turned around and grabbed Jaemin by the collar of his shirt, or better to say, Jeno's shirt.

"Shut the fuxk up", Jeno said almost threatingly. "You have no idea. Since you don't understand what we could loose and in what danger you put us, I have to be the responsible one. So I will go now to my bed, while you will go to yours. End of discussion."
And with one final look to Jaemin's lips, Jeno was ready to turn around.

But Jaemin had other plans.
He grabbed Jeno's cheeks in his hands and pulled his face closer.
Between their lips only a few millimeters.

"Say that you don't want this", Jaemin said breathless. "Say that you don't want me and I will let you go."

Jeno gulped. Could he really say that?
The words would definetly be a lie, but if that is what makes Jaemin stop, maybe he has no other choice.

So Jeno closed his eyes and said "I don't want this."

"No", Jaemin shook his head. "Look me in the eyes, when you say it".

Jeno opened his eyes and took a deep breath. Jaemin was close, too close.

"I-I.... God Jaemin, just stop.", Jeno tried to get his face away from Jaemin's, but Jaemin's grasp was too strong.

"Not until you say it."

"Fine you want me to say it?", Jeno said with a loud voice.

"I don't want this. I don't want you. I never wanted any of this. So it needs to stop, before it even starts. Is that clear, Na Jaemin?"

And with that Jeno freed himself from Jaemin's hands and went to his room, before Jaemin could say anything.

But Jaemin was at a loss for words anyways. Instead he was close to tears.

And when the door to Jeno's room fell closed, Jaemin's tears escaped and he started to sob.

Jeno could hear him. But he couldn't go back. Not even when his heart was screaming at him, to go to Jaemin and hug him, cuddle him till his tears stop. No, he couldn't do that.

Jaemin calmed himself down.
He wiped away his tears with his little fists. "This is not gonna end, Lee Jeno. If you are not fighting for this, I will. I won't give you up. I can't give you up. Never." And with that Jaemin also went to his room.

But when Jaemin laid in his bed, his tears came back and he cried himself to sleep.

And Jeno, he also only was able to sleep, when no more tears came out of his eyes.

This was a night full of tears.

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