Ghosts Broken Mask

11 - 'Impressive kid'

"Rookie what are you doing!?" Ghost shouted as he approached you, his gear rustling as he held his gun to his chest securely a scowl on his face as he looked down at you. You swallowed back the lump in your throat unsuccessfully, your mind a loud hum in your ears as you thought about your next words.

Your chest felt tight, closed up. A thick sludge of fear blocking your air pipes as your gaze met his. A cold sweat on your back that made you shiver, you felt pins and needles numbing your hands, your legs. You realized you weren't breathing, and you gasped, your lungs burning but your mind too busy to notice.

Your gasp took Ghost by surprise, and he flinched ever so slightly, unnoticeable from a distance. You bent over trying to form your words, hands on knees as you kept inhaling sharply. Your lungs draining quickly even though you never felt yourself exhale. Your mind went into frenzy.

'Oh fuck fuck fuck' You thought, the voice in your head consumed your words and turned them into nothing but another part of the loud hum in your ears. Your fingers grasped the fabric of your combat pants, anchoring yourself to feel reality. It wasn't working, the loud whirling of the helicopter traveling through the air and feeding your mind with fear.

Your short shallow breathes only grew quicker as your body started to tremble. Pins stabbing you everywhere, you coughed through your desperate gasps your eyes keeping down as the rims of your vision started to blur. No, you wouldn't cry. You turned your back, stumbling slightly as your shaking hand roughly wiped your eyes, refusing to let any emotion show.

"Rookie" You heard Ghosts voice, husky but stern. You heard his boots against the rough concrete, knowing he had stepped forward. You needed to say something, making him know that you just needed a minute and you'd be fine. You felt uneasy, a heavy weight in your chest and something clenching your pipes.

"J-j-j.." Your body continued to tremble, your fingers holding the fabric with such force, demanding them to keep a hold of your slipping reality. 'Breath ... breath' you told yourself. A strained groan escaped your quivering lip as your eyes squeezed shut in concentration. You shook your head, trying to shake yourself free from fears strong grip.

It felt like sinking into thick mud, feeling it slowly overtake your body. Starting at your hands as it creeped its way across you, sending waves of coldness through your skin as it prickled, goosebumps forming on your trembling arms. A sharp pain in your chest as you gritted your teeth, your back remaining turned away from Ghost and everyone in the helicopter.

A crushing weight of fear and dread lies across your chest. Your heart races and your hands tremble. Your thoughts staying scattered and disorganized, and your breathing remains shallow and rapid. Your stomach sinks into a knot, and you feel nausea and dizziness. Your body is overwhelmed and unable to think clearly. It feels like the world is closing in on you, and you are desperate to flee.

You want to speak, to be left alone. The passing seconds feels like hours as the hefty feeling of being watched settles on your back. "O-o-one..." You stutter, your voice is a hoarse rasp, sounding forced as you struggle to form a sentence. "-mo-mo-moment s-s-s" Every inch of you is shaking and you can't stand that loud helicopter, your fingers let loose on your pants and snap to your ears.

"S-sir" You finish barely. You feel so fucking embarrassed, you want to be left alone so you can collect yourself. You don't hear Ghost leaving and instead sets of footsteps approaching. The team. You want to slip away, let your fear take you but you hold on. You can't have them see you like this.

Your heartbeat is in your chest, and it physically hurts, like eating too fast and the food slows down in your chest. Your hands are moving, you want to know you are here, your body tingles. You're grasping desperately at yourself, feeling claustrophobic like you're shrinking.