One word

chapter 17 - sweet dreams

I'm in a field filled with white lilies. White lilies symbolized death. I've heard stories of people coming here in their dreams to see loved ones one more time before they are completely gone. When my mother died, she never visited me, I know she never loved me in the first place. She always tried her best to stay away from me. Nobody ever told me why. I turn 180 degrees to see my pack and Dad standing 20 feet from me. I run the short distance and hug him.
"I'm so sorry Daddy, I should have been there. I don't want to ever leave you again. We can be here forever until I wake up. Please don't leave me Daddy."
I am full out crying now, he has to give me the choice to join him or stay. I will go. I should be with him and my pack.
"Bush Ash. I know that I can give you that choice but I'm not going to. Theo and Jasmyn are still pack. The hunters were under a werewolf's rule. You need to save then. I pass the alpha title to you fully now. I don't have time to do the bonding part, thankfully the moon goddess has prepared you herself. She says that you will gain the alpha mark when you wake up and that you are a very special wolf. I have to go."
"No Dad! Give me the choice. I need it! I need you!"
"You were once my sweet baby girl, but not anymore. You need to be the great alpha I know you will be. Ash, I love you so much. Treat that mate of yours nicely now, and don't let your temper ruin you either. There is something i need to tell you about your mother, she-"
Before he has a chance to finish, he vanishes. I Lon everywhere near me, but he and the entire pack are gone.

The dream slowly fades. I open my eyes and scream. I arch my back to stop the burning sensation from hurting so much. I squeeze Chris' hand who is trying to push me down. He isn't helping. I let go of him and push him away with my mind. I sent him flying into the wall. I want to laugh that his hole came true when I start to smell it. I smell my flesh burning. I shut my eyes and scream louder. This hurts worse than turning for the first time. I feel like I'm getting shot then set on fire. Round after round of pain gets worse each time until it just stops. I want to cry but I can't. I try to look around but everything is so fuzzy. What did my father do to me? I don't want to be here. How much I still feel on fire is unbelievable. It makes me want to die. I finally turn off my back and onto my right side. Someone's cold hand brushes barely between my shoulder blades and I scream again. Why would they do that? I feel one of my pack members try to talk to me, probably Jasmyn. I probably woke everyone up with my screaming. Let's light then on fire and see if they don't scream in pain. I try to talk to Jasmyn but my link is being blocked. Why is it being blocked? What is going on? My fuzzy vision is going black. I try to crack a smile. There will be no dreams, only darkness. I finally fall asleep again.

I slowly open my eyes. Everything slowly comes into focus this time. Once again I'm in a different bed that isn't mine. I roll onto my back and want to scream but I don't because I hear someone's deep slow breaths. I roll onto my side again and see the person sitting in a chair.
"Hey, you're awake. I had to move you I to this room since our's got minor got minor damage to it last night. How are you feeling?"
I want to smile at him and say that I'm good and everything is okay now but I can't. I cry instead. I used to never cry and now it's all I do with him near. How can he still want me? I'm a train wreck. He gets out of the chair and pulls me into a hug making me cry harder. I don't deserve him.
"It's going to be alright Ash. Please don't cry," he pleads with me.
Ash. That is what my dad called me. It died with him. I finally find my voice.
"Don't call me that."
"Don't call you Ash?"
I grind my teeth together. I stop crying all together.
"Yes. Don't call more that."
"Why?"
"Just don't!" I scream.
I get off the unknown bed and go to the big dresser and open it. I grab a black tank top and gray shorts, they are a girl's clothes. Who is the girl? Who is she to this pack? Where is she? Why didn't she sleep in her own room? I slam the dresser shut. Why do I even care?
"I'm taking a shower," I mumble.
I walk into the bathroom, shut the door, and lock it. I know we area mate's but that doesn't mean I want to get undressed in front of him yet. I look at the door, I want to tell Chris that I'm sorry for yelling at him. I know I shouldn't have shouted. My temper got the best of me. My temper. Something Dad has yet again reminded me of. I want to scream inn anger, but I don't. I look into the mirror. Even though I look horrible, I see my dad in me. I ball my hands into fists. Before I know what is happening, my left fist its all bloody from punching the glass. Even though I only hit it once, I use my telekinesis to keep the pieces from shattering onto the granite counter. I silently put them there instead. This mirror is just like me now, broken into a million little pieces and impossible to put back together perfectly. I hear voices outside the door, I listen quietly.