I Don't Get It

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For whatever reason, why he brought me here, in this cramped space, in this suffocating atmosphere, in this confusing situation...I don't know.

He was still seated beside me, silent and calm. It was setting me on edge as I played with my fingers whose nails were very charred from biting. I noticed my hand hadn't healed fully yet, the pain shooting up to my arm as I moved it. I quickly hid it, though hurting with throbbing pain, down on my lap, to make it seem fine and not injured at all.

We were staring at the windshield, afraid to turn our heads to face the questions on our faces. I quite felt suxdenly at ease that he was beside me. I quite felt so accustomed to the seat I usually sat on, the passenger side.

Then, my heart wrenches in the pain. The days I laughed in this very seat bit me back like a snake bite. I don't know what a snake bite is like but I know it's really painful.

I cut the chain of happy faces in my head, asking, "Why the hell you've taken me here?"

I turn my head to his direction, he was still staring ahead, resting his head on the window.

"I don't know myself," he said, whispering it. I bit my lip.

"Then we don't have anymore reason to discuss anything."

"Actually, we have. A million of them."

I went rigid, looking out of my window this time.

Maybe we'll have to ask Loraine to buy us some dating manuals, then.

I closed my eyes, curling my fist.

"I have a proposition to make."

I scoffed, "What is it? Ha! I bet you need advice on women!" I laughed sarcastically making sure he got it.

But he was too cool to pick the argument. He was sighing on his seat, drumming his fingers on the wheel.

The fingers that I once held.

I swallowed.

"No, not that."

"Then, what is it? I don't need your money anymore, Ashfield. You can see I've got enough of them to last long. Longer than you want, I suppose. How irritable my existence must be to you." I chuckled, rolling my eyes.

Again, he was too cool to fight. There was no fire I once see in him. I didn't interest him anymore, I realized. Good for him.

I guess I don't matter anymore.

"I know Keith's been out. You must be breathing so loose after you've landed on a jackpot, Green. I wondered how you've been doing, how's Nathan? How's that lawyer? You sure have a lot of men to play with."

This time, it made me look cheap to hear. It pained my pride. My dignity.

He wants to put me like a damned whore.

Then, let him. Make him have his way then. Let his accusations stab you, Kaye. You're nothing but a toy from the start until the end.

It seemed entertaining to play his game. Then, I decided I will.

"Well, they've been good company, making me happy and precious all the time."

From the edges of my eyes, I see him flinch a little. Must have shocked him since he didn't see the fight I had when he accused me of being a gold digger back then. He didn't see the fight he'd stirred back then now.

He drawled, "I see. Then, I'm perfectly happy with my own woman too. We're both doing fine, aren't we? I thought I wanted to console you since you've been accused. But now, I presume you're doing fine."

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