Good isn't perfect [c.e] | 18+ a Chris Evans fanfic

16 | It's Snowing

TRIGGER WARNING - ABUSE, BOTH EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY

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Thursday December 19th

Caroline Danielsen

I had been avoiding Chris ever since he made me cum a few days earlier. Every phone call, every text message, and every knock on the door. I hadn't let anyone in either. I had gone into hiding. Isolating myself from the world outside. 

I was so confused. Chris was technically not my boss anymore. So if I wanted to be with him I didn't break any rules. But he was mean, arrogant and selfish, at the same time he was a good kisser. He was kind, and his appearance was unbelievable, he was so hot. And I was so confused.

I woke up and felt that my nose was cold. That only meant one thing; it had been snowing during the night. I put on my fussy socks and walked over to my window. Opening the curtains I looked out and let out a happy squeal. I loved snow. To study every snow crystal. Deciding I wanted to go out into the snow I got dressed in some warm clothes and put on my winter jacket and my snowpants. Walking to the park I found myself a spot out on the big open field and laid myself flat on the back in the snow. Looking up at the sky I stuck my tongue out trying to catch the snowflakes that were falling from the sky.

December 20th 2002

"You need to wake up, Sweetie," Caroline's mother stroked her hair lightly. Caroline stirred in her sleep before opening her eyes slowly. Her mother was sitting on the edge of Caroline's bed smiling. "You might wanna look outside." Caroline slowly got up and crawled across her bed and to the window. Looking outside she let out a happy scream. "It's snowing! It's snowing." Jumping out of bed she ran to the bathroom. 

Her father didn't like when the children ran inside the house, but she got so excited every time it was snowing outside. And today her father was not home, so she ran. With a smile around her face. Her father was visiting his mother. Caroline was seven and had just started first grade. The last week in school before Christmas they had been learning about snow crystals and how each one was different from the others, and they had gotten homework during the Christmas to study them.

Caroline loved homework. She was one of the few that enjoyed them. It helped having a wonderful teacher, who made learning fun. "You need to sit still, Caroline," Her mother tried to put on Caroline's winter boots. "I'm sorry, mommy. Please don't hit me." 

Her words hit her mother's heart like a bullet as Caroline tried to get smaller. Caroline could see the happiness disappearing from her mother's face. Regretting her words, she put her hands on her mother's cheeks, and apologised to her mother. It was a reflex from when she was talking with her dad. 

"Can Adrian join me?"

Her mother laughed. "He is already out in the snow. He was begging me to wake you up so you could play with him. He wants to build a snowman. There you go. All done." Monica kissed her daughter's forehead and Caroline ran outside and found Adrian trying to roll a snowball for his snowman. 

Their mother went into the living room and sat down in the chair and started to read in her book while watching her two kids. Placing a hand over her stomach she whispered to it. "I can't wait for you to meet your siblings."

Out in the snow Caroline and Adrian were making their finishing snowman. Adrian was digging in the snow to find some gravel to make eyes and a mouth. "We should have a snowball fight." Adrian looked at her sister from where he was laying beside her in the snow looking up. "Yes!" Caroline got up quickly and ran to her spot behind her tree in the garden. Making a few balls she stacked them up. Shouting to her brother they started the fight.

Inside Monica watched her two kids throwing snowballs at each other while laughing. It was a joy to watch them. And without their father around Caroline was carefree. Adrian didn't understand the situation despite being almost ten years old, and for that Monica thanked God or whoever it was that ruled over this miserable world.

A scream was to be heard. Looking out of the window Monica could see her husband standing in the middle of the two kids with an angry look. Adrian had thrown a snowball at Caroline not noticing that their father had come home from his visit. Scrambling out of her chair she started to bang on the window. Outside Caroline was crying while Frank held Adrian up by his throat cutting off his air supply. Monica had been told by the doctors at the hospital that she shouldn't be exposed to stress. And yet here she was, watching the two loves of her life with their father, a man she once loved, struggling for their lives.

"No! N-no!" Caroline cried at her father trying to get him to put her brother down. "Please, daddy! Put Adrian down. I-it was me. Don't hurt him, please." Her father dropped Adrian down into the snow and stepped over the kids and walked away and inside the house. Scrambling over to her brother Caroline pulled him into a tight embrace and tried to dry her brother's tears.

Caroline Danielsen

I was pulled out of my train of thoughts by a little girl standing over me and poking me with a stick. "Amelia!" A woman called out. "Come back here and stop bothering strangers. I'm so sorry. My daughter can be a bit hyper sometimes." I smiled up at the lady. "No problem at all."

I sat up and looked at the girl. She was smiling from ear to ear. "She reminds me of myself when I was younger." I told her, not bothered by Amelia. She had rescued me from a bad memory. "How old are you, sweetie?" She held up five fingers for me. She was so cute. When she climbed into my lap I froze. What just happened?

"Oh my God," The woman picked up her daughter. "I'm so sorry." I shook my head and started to stand up.

"It's okay. But I need to go." I did the only thing I knew how to do in situations like this; finding an excuse to leave. "I'm supposed to meet up with my friend. When I was eye levelled with the woman she widened her eyes. "Oh my God! You are the girl that went to the red carpet with Chris Evans. Can you tell him from me that I'm a huge fan of his work? And that I'm single? My name is Madison by the way."

I shrugged my shoulders. "That was me. But I'm really late, and need to go now. I'm so sorry. But sure. I will tell him." I started to walk away from them. I didn't have words for what had just happened. No way that I was telling Chris that.

Even though we weren't together I felt very possessive over him. 

What the hell was happening to me?