Good isn't perfect [c.e] | 18+ a Chris Evans fanfic

25 | Moving to New York

Caroline Danielsen

Moving to New York was hard. But nothing compared to shooting a movie. Chris had persuaded me to see a therapist, when my compulsing thoughts had become too much. I knew Emma was behind it all. She had been begging me to talk to someone for years. I was seeing Ms. Smith once a week as a beginning. It was mostly her talking to me and trying to get me to open up to her. I had decided to be difficult.

"Caroline," Ms. Smith put her pen down on her notebook in her lap. "You need to open up to me, if this is going to work. You have been coming here once a week for over a month now. I know it's hard to talk about your past...but in order for me to help you, I need to figure out where it all started."

I folded my arms over my chest and stood up from the sofa I was sitting in and started to pace around her office. I hesitated before I spoke. "But what do you want me to say? That my father hit me when I was a child? That my ex boyfriend came to Boston to apologise and then he raped me?"

I sank down to the floor with tears flowing down my cheeks. Ms. Smith stood up and walked over to me before she squatted down in front of me. "Good. This is a start." She smiled softly at me, and I dried my tears with the tissues she was handing me. "We don't have to talk about it today, if you don't want to. Have you talked about it with Chris? He really wants to help you, you know."

I shook my head. "No, I haven't talked about it with him. Or, I haven't talked about it with him directly. My best friend told him about my childhood. But no one knows about my ex raping me. And I tend to keep it that way. What do you think?"

"I think you are making progress here. Some very good progress," She checked her watch. "I'm sorry Caroline, but your time is up. I will schedule you for next Thursday at one pm. Does that work for you?" I nodded and stood up and straightened my dress. "Thank you, Ms. Smith."

"Please call me Amalia. I will see you next week, Caroline."

*

Out in the car Chris was waiting for me. "Hi, how was it?" I shrugged my shoulders. "It was okay. I don't want to talk about it. Can you just drive me to my apartment?" Chris sighed before he turned the engine of his car on, before he turned out into the road. We drove in silence, before Chris took a turn to the right out on a dirty side road. "What are we doing? Where are we going? This isn't the right way to my apartment. Just take me home please."

Chris didn't say anything and just stopped the car. He unbuckled me before he pulled me to his lap. I avoided looking at him. "Please talk to me. Look at me Princess." I turned my head but kept my eyes over his head. He placed his hands on my cheeks and forced me to look at him. It looked like he was about to say something, so I smashed my lips against his.

Grinding my hips on his I moaned. He pushed the dress over my hips and groaned when he realised I had no panties on. "No panties?" I shook my head. "You dirty, little girl. You went to your appointment without any panties on?" I ignored him and just kept on kissing him and grinding my hips on his. I could feel him getting hard underneath me. He brought his fingers to my entrance before he pushed one in and started to pump it. He brought his mouth down to my neck. Pushing the straps of my dress down my arms he attacked my breasts with his mouth.

I moved my hands around his head and pushed him closer to my breasts. I rode his fingers until I came all over them. Pulling his cock out from his sweatpants I lined him up with my core. "I need you," Chris pushed me down on him and I moaned. He placed his hands on my ass and helped me bounce up and down while he thrust upwards to meet my movements.

He brought his thumb to my clit before rubbing in small circles. I came with a gush and released all over his dick. He gathered some of my juices before he brought his finger to my back hole. He started to move his finger in, but I pulled away and started to cry and crawled over to the passenger seat again. I pulled the dress straps over my shoulders and pulled the skirt part of the dress down again. Looking out of the window I cried even more.

It was too much. All the memories from the night with Simon came flooding back. The memories kept on going and when Chris placed his hand on my cheek and tried to dry the tears that just kept on coming. "Hey, hey, what's wrong?"

"H-he used to do that to me," I cried. "My ex used to have his fingers inside there." Chris turned my head towards him. "What do you mean? Can you tell me about it?" I swallowed hard before I decided to tell him about one of the worst nights in my life.

"My, ex, S-simon, he used to use his fingers to fuck me in my backhole," I blinked away my tears. "Last autumn he came here. The reason why I came to Boston was because he cheated on me, and I needed to get as far away as I could. It broke my heart. But then he came here and told me he was sorry. Of course I believed him. I still loved him. We went for a drink and then I brought him to my apartment."

I crawled into Chris' lap again before I continued. "He had drugged me so I would agree to have sex with him. But then I realised what I was doing and tried to push him away. He did...he didn't stop. He just kept on going until he was satisfied and left me naked and feeling dirty, on the floor. When you tried to push your finger inside of me, all the memories came back to me, and it triggered me. I'm so sorry, I'm broken and not perfect."

"Hey, hey, look at me," Chris placed his forehead against mine. "You are not broken. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But you need to talk to me about these things. You can't keep them inside of you. We are in this together. Do you understand?"

"It's kinda hard to look at you when you have my forehead squished against yours. I don't need to have things near my eyes to see anything. I have perfect eye vision."

"Don't give me an attitude. We have been through this before. You need to talk to me about things that are hard for you. If you don't want to tell me what's wrong, please tell me you are having a hard time, okay?"

"Okay. I promise to try to not keep it inside of me. That's the best I can give you." He nodded and pulled me into his chest. I nestled my face into his neck and just kept on crying. He kept stroking his hand up and down my back. I lifted my face from his neck and started to laugh.

"What is it, Caroline?" I pointed to his once white t-shirt that had now both foundation and mascara stains on it. He looked down at what I was pointing at. "I think I just ruined your shirt."