Good isn't perfect [c.e] | 18+ a Chris Evans fanfic

14 | This Isn't Goodbye

Caroline Danielsen

His words hit me like a bullet. He was gay. He was gonna leave me. Like everyone else did. He was gonna leave me. I felt alone all over again. What was I going to do? Of course I was happy for him. I was. "Say something, Sweetheart. Anything."

"You're gay?" I tried to not sound sad, because I wasn't. I was happy for him. I smiled. When you are smiling your brain releases tiny molecules called neuropeptides which helps you fight off stress. After that other neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin and endorphins get released as well. And that makes you happy. So smiling it was.

"I think so." He came and sat down in front of me and placed his hands on my knees and looked up. "Don't cry, Sweetheart. I don't know for sure if I'm gay. I still love you." He squeezed my thighs and I tried to squeeze them together. His hands crept up my body and cupped my cheek. He kissed me passionately. "Don't be sad. I still love you. I'm not gonna leave you. I just need to figure things out."

He pulled me to my feet and kissed me once more. His hands went straight to my ass. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his torso, grinding my hips against him. He sat me down on the table, knocking the wine bottle over and the wine poured out over my table.

"Oh, fuck, Sweetheart. I'm sorry." I pulled him back to my lips. I didn't care. He pulled my shirt over my head and threw it away. Kissing down my neck and to my breast I moaned. He kissed his way back up and I tugged at his t-shirt, pulling it over his head. He picked me up again and carried me into the bedroom, without leaving my lips he pushed me up against the wall. One of his hands wandered behind my back to unclasp my bra. I noticed he struggled so I left my hands from his body.

*

Laying face to face with each other, I stared into his brown eyes. "That was..." Rick started stroking the tears away from my cheeks. I knew this was the end of our relationship.

"That was horrendous, awful, terrible?" I started to laugh. Rick laughed as well. "I was going to say something different. I'm definitely gay." We just started to laugh even more. It was so ironic.

"At least I can now cross having sex with a gay person of my bucket list." I laughed. Rick tried to pull me to his chest but I turned around and opened the drawer in my bedside table pulling out a notebook I got when I was twelve. Sitting up against the headboard and tucking the bedsheets around me. Rick came up and sat beside me.

Opening the book I turned to the page I made when I was thirteen. Carolines Bucket List. 13 years old. I was in my period where everything I wrote in my diary or online or anywhere actually was in English. And on thing number ten; Have sex with a gay person.

"You weren't kidding." Rick looked over my list. I shook my head. "I was like thirteen when I wrote this list, and I was curious. Don't judge me." Rick kissed my temple. "I would never. Let's see what you have on this list of yours now, shall we?"

1. Get a boyfriend.

That was checked off.

2. Learn to ride the bike.

Learnt that last year.

3. Learn the alphabet backwards.

Still working on that one.

4. Travel to Italy.

There were four check marks behind that one.

5. Watch every Disney movie there was.

Hadn't had the time for that one yet. I had like four left, but never found the time to watch them.

6. Knit my own sweater, or my own west.

Still working on that as well.

7. Have a best friend for the rest of my life.

I had met Emma, it felt completed. So I checked it off with my sparkling pen.

8. Meet Harry Styles and marry him.

A girl can only dream.

9. Meet a celebrity.

Chris didn't count.

10. Find myself.

Hadn't figured that one out yet, but I would.

11. Have sex with a gay person.

I realised now that, that was a stupid one. But it had happened so I put a check mark beside it.

"Meet Harry Styles and marry him?" Rick looked at me and I nodded.

"I know that was a long shot, but it was whoever got to him first between me and Louis Tomlinson. It will never happen though. When I was thirteen, it made me heartbroken."

"Are you going to be okay, Line?" I nodded. "I will be okay. Don't beat yourself up over the fact that I could not make you straight." I joked at him, he pulled me to his side and rested his head on top of mine. "Tell me about him."

"He is a year older than me, and I met him at the hospital. He is a new doctor, chief of ortho. You know, the surgeons that have specialised themselves in bones." I nodded, I had watched Grey's anatomy. "He is very handsome, and I would like you to meet him someday. He is kind, funny, caring, and he's British. His accent is so hot." I noticed he was getting hard while thinking about him.

Rick noticed a pained look in my eyes. "I'm so sorry, Line. I wasn't planning on just breaking up with you like this."

"It's okay," I brushed him off. He was worrying for no reason. "On one condition." Rick lifted his eyebrow. "And what's that?"

"If we can still be friends? I really like you, and I don't want to lose you, just because we didn't work out romantically."

"We are still friends, Caroline. I will always love you."

I sighed in relief. Now I just had to figure out how to get Dodger to keep his mouth shut, so he didn't tell Daddy that his dog sitter had been naked while Dodger had watched.

"How do you tell a dog to not say anything to his owner about seeing his caretaker for the month naked in bed about to get laid?"