All About Us [Yuri Katsuki x Reader]

122 - By any other name

"Hey, Yuri..." you muttered softly as he gently traced circles on the back of your hand, careful not to touch the IV line that was sticking out of it. The bespectacled skater was sitting by your bedside, keeping you company.

"What is it?"

Your eyelids felt heavy as you tried to focus on his face, "...Now that I'm out of the running for the Grand Prix Finals, could you do me a favor?"

His brow quirked upwards, a bit hesitant to hear you out any further. 

"It's nothing sleazy...jeez," You narrowed your eyes and gave him a slap on his arm. Due to your weakened state, your hit wasn't as hard as you would have liked it to be but you did manage to get your point across, "...I want you to..." You trailed off.

"You want me to...?"

You blinked slowly and shook your head, trying to rid yourself of the drowsiness you were feeling, "...You'd avenge me, wouldn't you? Now that I'm no longer competing...It's all up to you now...You have to...have to win....you will win..."

If it were anybody else, he'd feel pressured. But instead, your words had reassured him. A small smile found its way onto his lips at your request, "Of course."

You hummed in acknowledgement. Silence resumed between the two of you and he just continued to aimlessly trace circles on the back of your hand. You didn't mind it, in fact, you found the motion relaxing. However, since it was quiet again, you could hear the dripping noise coming from the IV...it unnerved you.

"...You...you wouldn't leave, would...you?" You tried to keep your eyes open, you really did. But it was so hard. Despite the fear churning in your chest, your eyes were threatening to close. It's as if every eye lash weighs more than it should and gravity has been turned up ten fold. The chemicals in your blood feel more like leeches in your cranium, sucking your ability to keep your eyes open and your brain switched on. The world was starting to blur in an array of faded colors much how a painting would look like when caught in the rain.

Your statement made his eyes widen by a fraction. It had caught him off guard. The way you said it made him interpret it in two different ways. He didn't think that you meant anything by it but...he stopped the circling motion he was doing on your hand. His gaze on you softened, "...I wouldn't dream of it, (Y/N)." he answered,  "I told you, remember? That it'd be my turn to take care of you...."

"...But you always do." You mutterer sleepily.

He nodded, "And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Satisfied with his answer, you smiled back at him as your eyes fluttered shut. The thought of him not leaving put you at ease. Your whole body went lax as your head lolled to one side of the pillow, your lips parted slightly as you took small, even breaths. You were now blissfully unaware of the things around you. Just like that, you were fast asleep. Without the complex workings of your conscious mind, to him, you looked so vulnerable and childlike...so at peace. Gone was the (Y/N) that was so troubled, so filled with uncertainty, so burdened with grief.

His eyes trailed down to your afflicted ankle which was slightly elevated. Just looking at the uncomfortable cast sent a tingle down his spine. He could not imagine the pain you must have felt. Then there it was. The familiar pang of guilt had unsettled him. He couldn't help but feel like he was the one to blame for you being here, in a place that you hate, a place that brought back bad memories. It wasn't that long ago since a nurse had come in to make you take some pain killers for your ankle. At first, you were about to protest until he had intervened.

Why was it just so hard? Why was it so difficult to forgive yourself? Yuri could not help but replay the negatives over and over again in his head. He had allowed himself to become a hostage to what had happened. He has relived the moment again and again and in each time, it just hurts. It feels like trying to cleanse hot tar that stuck to his skin. Seeing you, he is forever reminded by the fact that he had hurt you as well. He often finds himself thinking of what he could have...no, what he should have done...