The Van der Linde Gang: It's Not Fair

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The Van der Linde Gang & Female Reader (15 years old)

Summary: You've been struggling with your grief recently and Hosea finally has to confront you about it.

Word Count: 2500

You had been with the Van der Linde gang since you were 8 years old. When they found you, you were only a child, crying and cradling a baby boy. You had been so afraid, Dutch and Hosea just knew that they had to help you and your little brother, who had only been one year old at the time.

The two of you fitted into the gang well, you gave nobody any reason to dislike you. You were grateful for them giving you and your brother somewhere to stay. Dutch and Hosea treated you both like their own, caring for you both and making sure no harm came to either of you.

You had been protective of you brother from the very beginning but Hosea and Dutch understood why. Your parents had been killed and you had taken your baby brother somewhere safe. It took you a while to trust the gang, to trust that they weren't going to hurt you, that they weren't going to harm the brother you now felt responsible for.

Now you were 15 and your brother, Kyle, was 8. Everyone knew that you loved your little brother, you felt responsible for him despite still being young yourself. He was the only blood relative you had left and you wanted to look out for him. They could understand that.

-----

You could still remember that day and the memory of it still made you feel physically sick. The nightmares kept you awake, your appetite was none existent, and you were constantly distracted.

Yes, you could still remember that day. The day that your brother died. Only eight years old and shot down by some O'Driscolls that had ambushed the camp. You had instantly tried to run towards your brother but Dutch caught you, pulling you with him while Arthur went to get your brother. He didn't make it in time.

Arthur had never felt more guilty about something. You were with Dutch when he gave the bad news, just a small shake of the head and you were crying, screaming. Arthur had apologised before just walking away as Dutch pulled you against his chest, he figured that you wouldn't even want to look at him so he walked away.

Since that day you were different, everyone was worried about you. Nightmares kept you awake, you had dark circles around your eyes. You had no appetite, you weren't eating properly so you were losing weight and had no colour in your cheeks, no shine in your eyes. Always distracted, no matter what they were talking about you were just staring off into the distance. Dutch had no idea what to do but Hosea hadn't let that stop him, he was determined to help you through this. You had always been closer to Hosea than Dutch.

Still, Hosea was clueless. He just didn't know how to help you, you were grieving and there wasn't anything he could do about it. He just made sure that you tried to eat and sleep enough.

-----

It had been about four months since that day. You were...better but not good. You were eating properly again and had less nightmares, they weren't every night anymore, just every now and again. You still barely left the camp, only doing so when Dutch pretty much makes you, he tells you that it would be good for your mind. You disagreed.

You still haven't talked about that day, you never even talked about your brother. You didn't even like people mentioning his name. Sean had been talking to Lenny one night, sadly mentioned that the camp seemed quieter without Kyle. You had tensed at the name, snapped at him to never mention it again, before storming away. They hadn't even seen you standing there. Sean spent the next morning apologising, he felt so bad, but you still accepted his apology.

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