A LEAP OF THE EARLY BIRD

Her heart cried...

A day that began with Can Divit was a good one. That's what Sanem thought and that is how she felt. Going to work, she still heard his voice in her mind, still felt his heart beating against her ear when they danced together. She still felt the same way she felt when he told her he had chosen the dress for her. And she hoped. She hoped to be near him, she hoped to see his smile, she hoped she mattered to him.

She saw him when she came in to the agency. He still smiled at her. The same way as he did the evening before and as he did that morning when he dropped her off by her home. That same spark still filled his eyes as it did, it never left. So she hoped, and she smiled. Knowing she mattered to him filled her heart with so much gratitude that it spilled over the brim. And then her heart broke...

She felt as if her heart got ripped out. That it was stomped on. Her world fell apart. She thought she had found herself in a dream with Can. The most beautiful dream not even she could imagine. But that dream turned out to be a nightmare. With just a few words Güliz delt her a blow she was not prepared for. She heard words no one ever wished to hear. She fell for a man who had another. Can made her fall for him while he shared his life with Polen. That word, that insignificant name, she would come to hate for all the days to come. She felt a crushing blow hit her with a force that dimmed any light she held within. She fought her greatest battle to fight back her tears. She would not show Güliz her words carried any meaning to her. But she had to walk away. The slower the better...

It was true that Can made her speechless. So he did, this time as well. Sitting outside the agency, her heart wept while her mind kept replaying the moments she shared with Can. The feelings she had for him couldn't lie. She fell for him. And fell hard. She never felt anything that came anywhere close to what she felt for Can. She tried her best to force the memories of Can out. But that was pointless. Her photographic memory felt like the worst vice she had ever carried. She knew she would never in a hundred years be able to chase him out of her heart. He was there, and that was a fact. She let him in, and that was her mistake. Any hopes she may have had of any kind of possible or impossible future with him disappeared. And that emptiness that now filled her heart hurt more that she dared to admit to herself...

She wanted to cry. She wanted to run. Damned if she was, she wanted to run right into Can's arms and beg  him to say none of Güliz's words were true. But she would not. As much as it hurt, she would hold her head high. She would not give anyone any satisfaction from playing her for a fool. Not Deren, not Can himself. She was not a victim, she would never be. She was a fighter. With hidden pain and invisible tears dripping from her eyes and her heart, but she was a fighter. She marched back to the agency, and held her head high.

She could not believe the words that she was capable of while she spoke with Can. She hurt him and confused him. Though that was not her direct intention, she felt that she had to fight for herself now. He pulled her aside and demanded an explanation for her sudden change of mood. Sudden change of heart. She would not give him the satisfaction of telling him she was hurt because she found out about Polen. What she did not know was that Güliz couldn't have been further from the truth. But she did not know that. So she kept raising his temper, until he finally asked if she regretted spending the evening with him. She couldn't lie. Her heart would never permit it. It was hurt, but not unkind. So she told him the truth. She would never regret that night. Which confused him all the more.

But as much as she felt she confused Can, he confused her more. Evenmoreso, Enzo Fabri came to greet them and confused her beyond her mind. Fabri congratulated her, no, them, and invited her and Can to a dinner. She nodded, forced by Deren, but she had not comprehended what she was agreeing to. So Can enlightened her. Beyond any doubt. She was to play the part of his beloved. Of his fiancé. Of his one and only. Her heart cried, wept without control. Her luck could not have been more cruel. But she could not say no. Not when she was told to follow Can's lead. Not, when she was told by her heart not to let go of him just yet...