A LEAP OF THE EARLY BIRD

A friend in need...

The weight of tears often depends on the reason for the tears. There are the kind of happy tears that not only do not weigh at all but also help raise the spirit all the way to the stars. But there are also the kind of tears that weigh the person down. Weigh the heart and soul down. There are tears of sorrow, of loss, of despair. Yet few compare to the tears of a broken heart. Because not only does the heart tear itself apart for what once was felt, it also understands that what was lost won't be coming back...

There are those who go through life not knowing what true love means. Some may say that they are the blessed ones for not knowing what life of that lost love would painfully feel like. And then there are those fortunate enough to have found true love, who have lived it. Those that still do are fortunate ones. Those who felt it once in their life know how fullfilling that love truly was. Because that love made it all better. Made it worth living. Made it all matter. Even when that other half of the heart no longer beats for the other, their love does not end. It never ends. It never could. The energy of that heart forever stays in the heart of the other. That is why that feeling of love stays as strong every day as it did the day it was felt for the very first time...

Sanem walked. Fortunate to know that her feet knew their way home. Because she could not see where she was going. The pain in her heart was so overbearing that she fought a battle to just simply keep breathing. She loved Can. And she hurt Can. How much, she only realized when tears reached his eyes. She was always able to see into his eyes and see the depth of his soul. Now all she could see was the sorrow and the despair. Sorrow because his feelings were hurt. But despair because she rejected him. Because she rejected him not knowing how much courage it took him to finally open up to her. To anyone. And that was worse than knowing she lied to him. She realized that she had been selfish. Maybe if she just told him all of what she had done, he would storm off mad at her. But now he left hurt. Which was so much worse.

She could barely walk. How she got home, when she got home, she could not tell. The last thing she wanted to do was to speak with anyone. Least of all Mevkibe. When Mevkibe came to her room, she had every intention of scolding her daughter for embarrasing her in front of Can Bey. But her mother's heart sank the minute she saw Sanem and her tears. A mother's heart knew something was wrong. Even if Sanem would not tell her. Even if she would not reveal what lay in her heart. She began to worry if Can hurt Sanem, but Sanem denied any wrongdoing on Can's part. And Mevkibe saw that she was telling the truth. So she did what she knew best. She brought Sanem close, as close to her heart as humany possible. She let Sanem cry as long as she needed. She let her cling to her for as long as she felt the need. And then she called Ayhan. Whatever the reason was for her daughter's sorrow, she knew Ayhan would find a way to bring her some peace.

And Ayhan did just that, though not completely. She calmed Sanem's nerves, but not the sorrow that hid deep inside. They talked for long hours. What Ayhan could clearly see was how much Sanem felt for Can. How deeply she had fallen in love. Because Sanem did not care about how much she had been hurt. She only cared about how hurt Can felt. Ayhan wished she could take her pain away, though she knew she could not. Sanem would need to process her feelings, and move past her sorrow she felt in her soul. Because her pain went so much deeper than just her aching heart.

Ayhan decided to switch up her approach. So Sanem fell for Can. So she fell for him hard. So be it. Done deal. They had faced the facts. They agreed that both Sanem and Can hurt each other. And they would have to move on. Now she would have time to search for albatross. Albatross, who disappeared so far into the distance in comparison with Can. Sanem agreed with Ayhan. She felt she had to. Fully knowing how dishonest she was with herself just then. Fully knowing there was no way to remove Can from her heart. Fully knowing she never would...

Yet thanks to Ayhan Sanem felt better. She truly became a kind heart when Sanem turned into a friend in need of support. Looking into the painting of the two albatross birds she still saw Can in it. She could not help it. The image of his taattoo would always stay in her mind. An albatross bird had only one name. One meaning. And for her it would be Can. She had no idea how true her thought would become. But as Ayhan had mentioned, one simply could not speak to the one she loved and just call him Bey. So she would move on, with him in her heart, but only there moving forward. And fate smiled, because that was exactly where he needed to stay...