A LEAP OF THE EARLY BIRD

The most soul-filling case of deja vu...

Some say that one only lives once, and that nothing ever happens twice. True. But as that may be so, the very words that history repeats itself prove just as correct. Especially when a heart yearns for another, and begs for another chance...

Can slept. For the first time since who knows when, he slept. He slept a peaceful sleep. A deep sleep. A fulfilling one. And it wasn't due exhaustion from falling asleep well after 3:00 o'clock at night. No... The sleep that came to him was all thanks to Sanem. He was a restless spirit. He rarely sat still, and felt comfortable enclosed within walls even less than that. But with Sanem... He could not describe it, but somehow her unpredictable and somewhat incomprehensible antics calmed his restlessness. He fell asleep next to Sanem, after she had had a nightmare. After he calmed her down, cradled her in his embrace, and he could feel her raging pulse slowing down...

He offered her a birthday present he prepared for her long ago. He was a man who gave little attention to ready-made store-bought gifts, and cherished gifts that meant something. He treated gifts he offered the same way, especially if he offered them to someone special. He knew Sanem's birthday would be approaching, but lost the track of time among all the chaos, and the rest was history. Now, she slept peacefully and safely in his arms. He hadn't the heart to leave her side when she fell asleep. He just hadn't. He stayed next to her, and spent long endless minutes just watching her. He would never admit to her how many times he brushed little strands of her hair away from her beautiful face whenever they fell upon her cheek. And he would never admit out loud how thankful he was to fate to have offered him another chance to caress her gently into sleep...

The day began with the sun's rays reaching his face. He awoke, and a sudden pang of panic stung at his heart. He fell asleep next to Sanem, but where was she now? Did she leave? Did she wake up and was frightened to find him next to her? Did he scare her away? He sat up, confused, disoriented, and hurt. If he only knew the way her heart sang in her chest the moment her eyes saw his beautiful face next to her. If he only knew how her soul flew sky high when she watched him, sleeping peacefully, with his strong arms wrapped in the most endearing embrace around her. If he only knew how her hand felt when she ever so lightly caressed his hair, as if to check if he really was there, resting next to her heart...

His saddened mood lifted the moment he sensed the aroma of food coming from the kitchen. He left the room and walked toward the kitchen, only to find Sanem bustling around. The sight of her, in his kitchen, preparing breakfast for them, hit his heart hard. She looked beautiful. She looked content. And she looked like she belonged there. That thought felt as painful as it possibly could. He decided to brighten up his mood, and walked slowly to surprise her. And surprise her, he did. Quite frankly, he may have surprised her all the way to the next century. She jumped, turned, and screamed in total disbelief. He stood next to her, completely at peace, and completely oblivious to the love in her eyes when she realized how content he was being next to her again.

Can could not help but comment that it felt like the most peculiar case of deja vu to enjoy a meal, again, just the two of them. Just as he was hit with deja vu when she walked in to his room the night before, only to find him in his towel, just as she did at the hotel in Agva when they went to find Arzu. She mentioned then that he looked Zeus-like. Now he wondered if she still felt the same way. He recalled that she realized then that he bore the albatross tattoo, and he wondered whether she still noticed his tattoo the night before. If he only knew what she thought of him when she found him dripping of water. He would have laughed if he knew just how little thought she gave then to that tatto...

As they ate, Can had to admit that çay really was the only thing she knew how to prepare. He could see she was trying to impress him. The light that shone out of her eyed illuminated not only the kitchen, but his whole house. But his stomach twisted the moment he saw the food. Even his throat let him know that it would refuse to swallow her despicably overcooked creation. He could not help himself, and let out a comment wondering about the taste of the food. Who knew how it would taste...? She burned the toast. Well, she did not just burn it, she turned it into charcoal. She fried the scrambled eggs beyond all levels of sanity. Though he saw that she put in an effort with the scrambled eggs, and that she put her heart into it, she put much more into it than that. She put in the eggshels. Quite frankly, if he had to gauge it, the eggshells appeared to become the added bonus in it all. Ahh, Sanem, ahh...

Notwithstanding the taste of the food, they had to admit that nothing in the world could compare to enjoying breakfast together. Even as friends. And, maybe, especially as friends. Can looked at Sanem and wondered briefly if that's what was missing in his past relationships, even from theirs. It was the friendship factor, the companion factor. And now, even if they were friends and only that, he began to see how much that mattered. And he was glad that Sanem agreed to being his friend. They enjoyed laughs, jokes, and he was quite impressed with her grapeseed spit abilities. All in all, he could not stop himself from smiling and enjoying what this morning brought him. Especially the çay prepared by Sanem for just the two of them.

The drive to work was just as positive as the morning they shared. Until Sanem called out for him to stop the car at once. Goodness, that woman could shatter glass with her voice if she wished so, Can thought to himself. She definitely could cause him heart palpitations without a moment's notice. He assumed something was wrong. Then he thought maybe she saw a stray dog crossing the street. But, no. She made him stop the car before they reached the agency because did not want anyone to see them come in together. If he wasn't a man who accepted what fate bestowed upon him, he would have definitely damned it for the now sudden third case of deja vu in the last 24 hours.

He tried to explain the complexity of what he was experiencing when it came to the unending deja vu to Sanem, but she was oblivious to the idea. He looked at her and wondered whether not only she did not pick up on them, but also whether she knew what they meant. But the longer he looked, the more he only saw how happy she was. She was smiling. She was glowing. And he couldn't hide his own smile when she suggested that she trusted in her cooking skills. He chuckled, because she obviously forgot who she was talking to, for his mouth still recalled the taste of those raw overspiced cutlets, which now paired perfectly with the scrambled eggs they shared that morning.

Looking at her, with a smile that reached her eyes, he suddenly realized he may have considered himself a fool to suggest they could only be friends going forward. Can Divit may have been a man who kept much truth about himself from others. But he never pretended. He was who he was. He had a strong backbone. A stronger will. And he always followed his gut. Especially when it came to Sanem. And what his gut was telling him now, was that he was just as in love with Sanem as ever. If not more...

Sanem thanked him for allowing them to remain friends. He smiled and said not to mention it. She suggested they would high-five each other on that occassion. Baffled a little, he agreed. And soon realized how big of a mistake that turned out to be. Because his hand touched hers. His fingers grasped her hand. The feel of her delicate skin shot through him like lightning. Damned, he would not call upon that most soul-filling case of deja vu once again. He held her hand, held onto it. His gaze lowered from her eyes to their joined hands. Powerless, he looked at them. And something changed inside him. He felt it as sure as he felt her hand in his. Something sprouted in him that he did not expect. It was hope. Hope. Yes, he was in love with her, he would have been a fool to lie to himself that he was not. But he was adamant until that moment that his heart no longer held any room in it for their future together. But now... Now something changed. And the most important thing was, he wasn't afraid to feel it...