A LEAP OF THE EARLY BIRD

The abyss of despair...

Lies have a way of hiding the truth. But not forever. They only postpone the truth from coming out. And the bigger the lies, the greater the chance of hurting the one from who the truth is being hidden from. And no one knew that better than Sanem Aydin herself...

A dream of a day turned into the worst of nightmares. The man she loved stood in front of her, and she could see the pain in his heart beaming out from his eyes. Screaming out of them. As much as she wanted to shield him from all the pain, somewhere deep inside a part of her felt relieved to finally release all the hurt she felt herself from the lies Emre forced her to lie. A part of her knew that she could not continue lying. Because she was not a liar. She was not, and never, that kind of a person to intentionally hurt someone. Emre forced her to do so many things and took advantage of her naivety and her lack experience, and turned her life into a dimmed world of unending pain. No more. She was done. As much for Can as much for herself.

Can begged her for answers. Demanded them. So she offered them. With a voice that betrayed her and kept breaking from the pain each word caused her, she told him the truth. She no longer lied. She revealed to Can why she came to his home. That she was not engaged. But as much as he listened to her admission of lying, he did not listen to her attempts to explain why. Every attempt she made to tell him why she lied was cut short by his hurt and anger. Which only brought on more pain to both of them.

The more she tried to explain why she did what she had done, the more Can pressed about the fact of what happened. He asked who put her up to it? She took a deep breath, and finally revealed to him the name of the person who hurt them both. Who ever so callously and selfishly cared only about himself. Who cared not about his brother or father or anything else aside from his own benefit. Emre. Emre Bey. Emre Divit. As much pain as it caused Can, somehow it did not surprise him as much as it should have. Somehow pieces of an unknown puzzle were fitting into place. Somehow the chill that went down his spine went down more out of concern for his father and not for himself.

She could see he was furious. But hurt more than anything else. She knew him. Understood his gestures. Understood that there was pain under it all. And she was hopeless to stop it. Can fled, mad at her but more furious at Emre. She wanted to follow him. Needed to do so. But she miscalculated her next move. She was honest. She was not a person of a dark character. She believed in the good in people and did not realize nor predict how dark Emre's heart was. She hoped he would come clean. That he would admit his wrongs. Brother to brother. Because she was raised to trust in the love and bond of a family. But she underestimated Emre. Or rather, overestimated the amount of love he should have hold in his heart for Can. She called him and told him she revealed to Can the truth about the file and the ring. She did not know that this one innocent and heartfelt step would give Emre just enough time to come up with pre-calculated answers, which would turn the tables against her, and would cause Emre to look cleaner than he was...

When she got to Can's home, Emre was already there. Spewing the story to fit his picture of a puzzle. But he went further than just saving himself. He turned the story all against Sanem. And Emre did so in a perfect for himself moment, after seeing Sanem and after looking straight into her eyes. He told Can that Aylin had nothing to do with Sanem's lying about the ring. She even tried to help Sanem and cover for her. But worst of it all was the fact that not only did Emre say she was easy to convince to retrieve a file. She did so after receiving a bribe. 40,000 lira. No more, no less...

She heard it all. With grief hitting her heart each time Emre spoke. The grief of realizing how foolish she was to ever have trusted him. The grief of hearing out loud about exactly what it was she had done against Can. The grief of realizing how much she hurt him. She cried, but not just for herself. She cried for them both. Fully understanding what Can must have felt at that moment. He trusted her. But she lied. He loved her. But she lied. He was hurting now. But she loved him more that anything else in the world.

She stood behind him. So close, and yet a distance of the abyss of despair away. She feared for her heart, but she feared for his as well. She walked toward him. Asked if they could talk. He glanced her way but dared not to look. She could not have known how he felt inside. She could not have known that every cell in his body yearned to hold her yet his heart felt so heavy with grief that he dared not to stand up because he wasn't certain that he would not have buckled under the weight of that grief. For a man of action and temper, for the first time in his life he had to hold all of it inside. Hold it all in. Although it hurt to speak, he told her that she was the first person he trusted. First person he opened up to. First person he ever fell in love with the way he did with her. He fell in love with her innocence, in the fact that she was different...

He asked where she was now, the Sanem he fell in love with? The one deep in his heart? She replied that she was still there. Still in front of him. Still in love with him as much as she was a moment ago. But his heart could not listed. Dared not to trust in her words. He asked her quietly if all of that was a lie. If she refuted the statement, denied accussation of what he had heard, then he would listen, then he would be there for her. If not... Her response crushed him. In a voice as calm as he possibly could make it sound, he asked her to leave. Leave now, before he let all that grief loose which would only break her heart. Her heart. Because his was already breaking. His words crushed broken love against everything they felt just a few hours ago. It was over. And he could not bear it...