A LEAP OF THE EARLY BIRD

The power of forgiveness...

Love is blind. So is a bruised ego. Yet blind love can trust its journey, even in the darkness of the night. But a bruised ego takes much longer to overcome its shortcomings. It takes more than conquering the seven valleys of soul's journey. It takes more than realizing that one heart needs another to live. It takes that first step. A very important step. It takes forgiveness...

They were stuck in the elevator. With no way out. And no other option than to turn to each other. But not before they cleared the air between them. Though neither knew how to take that first step. So they did what they did best. They bickered...

Sanem, afraid of enclosed spaces, called out for help. In her own Sanem way. She called out asking if nobody was there to hear them. Which only brought out Can's temper, and he corrected her in a not-so-polite way that her question was nowhere near logical. No one ever called out for help asking if nobody was there. The proper way would be to ask if anyone was there to help them. To caress his temperamental ego, she corrected herself and yelled out the proper way. Which only drove him more mad because she yelled out at top pitch.

As time passed, the elevator began to warm up, and so did they. After removing warm autumn-seasoned top layers of their wardrobe, Sanem came up with a brilliant idea to see if they could escape through the vent located atop the elevator. To which Can had most sound and logical objections. But, since Sanem was Sanem, and to ease her growing anxiety, he agreed to try out her plan. He advised her that he would take her in his arms and raise her up. And completely caught her off guard with his offer. So much so that she almost froze. As a man who rarely passed on an occassion to tease her, he offered to tickle her back to reality. He did just so. And found himself in a tug of tickle battle he enjoyed most sincerely.

She found herself being raised up on his broad and powerful shoulders. And he found himself baffled beyond all logic when it became apparent that she was speaking to herself. Not just speaking, she was shouting. And... telling herself to silence herself? He could not help but question her sanity. But she denied it all, and asked for him to correct his posture. Only to end up in a position that almost made her fall backwards...

Since that attempt to escape from the elevator failed, they were left with no other choice than to wait through the night for help to arrive. Can suggested that they would just go to sleep, but Sanem knew she would never be able to calm down enough to allow for sleep to come over her. So she asked if they could talk to pass the time. To reminisce about their childhood memories. She recalled memories where she would think that there was a tiger living under her bed. Though, she not only thought that, she believed and knew that one lived right under her bed. Can had to smile, knowing how warm of a memory it must have been because he could see Sanem's anxiety was easing away. He made her smile in return when he gestured with his hand as if pretending to be the tiger, pouncing on her unexpectedly. It pleased her that Can shared his memory of winning an argument over soda, only to end up hitting his head on a two meter high wall in the garden, and being punished by his father by sitting with the soda for the longest time without being able to open it and enjoy it. They both laughed, and Sanem commented that he had not wisened up even until now...

The time they spent in the elevator, enclosed and trapped within four walks, away from the rest of the world, made them open up. Drop their defenses. Drop all their pretenses. They even spoke of common music interests which made them realize that they may after all have more in common than they thought previously. But Sanem realized that all that was in vain, because their future would not be a joint one. But a separate, lonely one. She stood up, with a heavy heart, and sorrow in her soul. She did not figure out that Can saw that sadness in her eyes. And that his eyes matched that sadness. What he did next reached that heart of hers, and melted away pieces that cut at her soul with painful sharpness. He apologized. Begged her forgiveness...

The long pause between them ended when Can revealed he knew everything. He knew of the documents. Why she was bribed by Emre to steal the dossier with the contract from thei home so that he would not find out about Emre's involvement with Aylin. Why the dossier she brought to him was empty. He realized why she wanted to show it to him. Why he needed to find out the truth. She replied that she tried to explain herself to him, that she really loved him, that he mattered to her, but he had not listened. He told her he found out about the birthday party and Fabri's present, how the truth came out that would make it appear as though she may have thought they were from him. Her voice cracked. She fought back tears. She realized that what he was telling her was so much more important to her than if she were to tell him all of it herself. Because he thought of it himself, and he figured it out and understood it all by himself, with his heart, not just his mind.

She told him that she thought he forgave her, and his heart beat hard in his chest. When she told him she was happy to think he forgave her because her own heart was happy again, his heart began to pound loudly in his head. It was as if he could hear the beat of his heart as much inside of him as much as on the outside, right in her voice. He tried to swallow the bitterness of what happened between them that shattered their love. He told her he was wrong not to listen to her. She was touched, but she could not have known that it was the first time in his life that he ever apologized for being wrong to anyone that mattered to him. Because she was the first person in his life that mattered to him so much...

She began to tear up, no longer strong enough to hold those tears back. He asked her not to cry, fully aware that his gut turned up in knots whenever he saw her cry. And this time was no different. He caressed her arm. He caressed her cheek. But she could not hold it all in any longer. Her arm recognized the feel of his embraces in which he used to hold her close. Her cheek recognized the touch of his hand caressing it with love. He stood mere inches away from her. He was close to her, closer than he was in the last few days. Yet the distance growing between their hearts was something she could not bare to stand. The depth of love she felt for him was still in her eyes. Looking into his eyes, she still saw that love reflected, but she also knew he refused to let that love back into his own heart. She hoped, still hoped to fell his love again, but she knew that hope alone would not bring him back to her unless she took a chance to ask him for it...

She gathered her courage, fought back tears for a moment. She looked into his eyes, and admitted that what she would wish for the most, would be for him to come back to her. For them to start fresh. Start over again. She realized that their love never faded. It never went away. Never would. She also knew that love held within itself the power of forgiveness. Forgiveness for each other, and for themselves. She only hoped he felt that same way too. Same way still...