A LEAP OF THE EARLY BIRD

The most disarming leap of courage...

Just as timing in life and acknowledging the gift of life when it comes one's way is important, the courage to take that leap of faith forward is just as important, if not more. The courage to step up. The courage to lean forward. The courage to let go. Because no matter if an opportunity comes one's way only once or more than that in their life, if one is not willing to face the sun with courage in the heart, they will never know of the brightness of the rays that may shine light in their way...

Facing the fact that Polen wanted Can to remain by her side turned his mood into a sour one. The day that began with the sight of Sanem and the light of her smile, changed the moment Polen appeared at the photoshoot. He felt annoyed. He felt disturbed. And he knew Sanem felt the same. There was no way she could have hid her reaction, not from him. He realized that somehow he grew to pick up on how and what she felt. It felt so new to him, because as unpredictable as she was, he was learning to let his heart hear hers. Her actions oftentimes contradicted themselves in his mind, but that was only because whatever she tried to do or say, deep down inside he felt the truth to be opposite of that. That was part of her charm, but also part of why she drove him mad.

Sitting by Polen, he found it hard to enjoy the food. No offense to Osman, the food was delicious, but knowing how big of a part food played in his life, not being able to relax enough to really enjoy it did not make him feel well. To make matters worse, all it took was one look at Osman embracing Sanem, and his gut could not handle any more food. Even though Osman's arm barely wrapped around her back could hardly be called an embrace, it was exactly that in Can's mind. He got up, swore to himself, and walked toward Sanem and Osman. He thanked Osman for his culinary skills and help during the photoshoot, but was glad that the man was polite but did not feel particularily drawn into a long conversation. Suddenly, he noticed sparks in Sanem's eyes. He had to look twice, because her eyes sparked as if with red balls of fire. He did not have to wonder whose direction those sparks were flying. Polen. No less, no more. He offered Sanem a drink and again was struck by the force with which she gulped it up.

They walked just a few steps, but what started as an innocent exchange of words resulted in something so profound in his heart that it affected his soul too. He asked Sanem about Levent. They talked about Polen. About all of what happened in the recent days. He hoped for an answer without much evasion from Sanem. What he received in return moved him. Her words revealed that she did not leave with Levent, that she went home alone, and that Levent was no albatross. Sanem's words made his heart float. But her next words made that heart soar. She revealed that she did go to the cottage, but she left because she was told that he wanted to be alone with Polen. Most importantly, she told him she was relieved that he had not spent the night with Polen. He was seeing a side of her he had not seen before. She was honest, gently honest. She did not evade him, did not brush him off, did not turn away. Instead, she moved closer, with joy in her eyes and happiness in her smile. The moment had passed, but what she made him feel in that one speck of time stayed deep inside of him.

As the photoshoot neared its end, he overheard Sanem telling Ayhan amd Muzo she hoped to take a walk alone to pick the wildflowers. His heart leaped at the idea. To be alone with her. If only for a moment more. Maybe she would not refuse him? Maybe she would not turn him away? He walked behind her, and caught up with her the moment she stopped to pick the wildflowers. She turned, and came face to face with him. And made him aware of how alone she wanted to be. To say that he tried to convince her that he should stay by her side would be an overstatement, because a man as confident in his words and ways as he was, to be barely able to utter out a coherent sentence felt like failure. But Sanem was firm, and very clear with her words. So he left with the heaviness of defeat weighing on his heart. 

The moment he sat in his car, something indescribable gripped his heart. It took hold of his heart, soul, mind, and the eyes that saw only Sanem... What he felt jumbled up inside him and he could not think straight. His world was changing, all because of Sanem. He was not just the same man he was before, he realized he grew as a person, grew into something more he was not long ago. And he thought of Sanem. The way he felt her heart beating when she cuddled into his embrace when they danced at the cottage, the way he felt seeing her beautiful smile when he caressed tiny strands of hair away from her face in Agva, the way he felt when she burst with light after he told her he did not spend the night with Polen and that they honestly did not reconciled. He sat in the car, sat and thought. He forced himself to quiet down all thoughts and emotions. What he felt and how he felt. His control meant everything to him. And he made a very conscious decision to act upon whatever first thought came to his quiet and silenced mind. And it hit him. As forceful and fierceful as a first ray of the strong summer sun piercing through the clouds of an ending storm. For the first time in his life he felt the need to trust, to open up, to welcome her in. He felt love. Love. His love for her. And that love was filled with courage of a heart no longer afraid to open up. The rush of the strength of his courage almost made him fly out of the car.

He made it to the beach in less than half of no time. And he saw her. He did not know why his heart told him to head to the beach when he left her in the forest, but it did. And so did his gut, which never ever felt more confident than in the moment he saw her walk into the water. He walked into it after her, he would have flown in if he could. The refreshing touch of the water awoke all of his senses. He stood beside her, no longer afraid. Her smile and happiness that beamed out of her eyes built his confidence up even more. She called him a dream, a true dream, her dream if he read between the lines. But then she touched him, and ran out of the water anxious because of her dream coming true. He caught her, pulled her in closer. The embrace that followed broke through all of the barriers he built around his heart. He spoke with hope, but with so much more. The confidence in his words and the agreement in her eyes were almost too much for him to handle. He held her close, but it was as if she was the one who pulled him in closer.

She smiled, and when her eyes wandered to his lips he almost lost it. So she too felt it, as deep and he did. That yearning for him. As strong as he did for her. She asked at one point why he had come when she asked to be alone. He replied that maybe she did not need to be alone. After all, maybe they could be alone together? She did not reply. She just surrendered to his love, to that same overpowering feeling he surrendered to a moment ago. They held on tight, with honest and sincere hope for what
was to come. To be closer, to be together, to be loved. Because love strengthened by courage held the greatest power in life. The power to dream. The power to reach out for the hand of the beloved. The power to hold on to that hand against all odds of the world. And holding Sanem lovingly in his arms, Can Divit realized he took the most disarming leap of courage in his life...