A LEAP OF THE EARLY BIRD

Weighing in all the odds...

Human nature is a complex one. It differs from the rest of the creatures of the earth in one very important aspect. And that is being able to reason with oneself regarding one's future. Whether it is based on a list of checks and balances, pros and cons, a trust in one's gut feeling, or a call of the heart, they all have one thing in common. They all help a person decide what really matters. Help decide upon greater good instead of lesser evil. And they help in figuring out whether the path one chooses leads to a life of happiness rather than to a path of regret...

Sanem stood at the doorstep of her home. She stood, and watched Can's car drive away until it disappeared into the distance. He left. He left defeated and hurt. And that she could not stand. It would have been different if he left in anger after finding out about all of her lies. Then, his anger would have been justified. But he left with a bleeding heart because he thought she did not love him. And THAT hurt her the most. She was the one who lied to him. She was the one who followed him and reported to Emre. She was the one who got played a fool by Emre. The only thing that Can had done was that he opened his heart to her. She got to know him on a deeply personal level. She never expected to fall for him. Above all, she never expected for him to develop any kind of feelings for her. That was not her intention and never her goal...

Now, she was faced with even more emotional turmoil in her already thunderous heart. The sorrow and shame of trusting Emre. The happiness and joy of a true love's first, a second kiss, and all that she felt whenever Can made her feel loved. And now the excrutiating regret and despair of her being actually the one who made him feel unloved. Made him feel like he opened his heart for no reason. That he opened his heart only to have the love he felt within it brushed aside as if it never mattered at all. That was just too much to bare for her...

As the evening came, she sat down to write. Her heart screamed within her and begged her soul to release all the pain onto paper. But her soul was too numb from everything it held inside. Her hand also refused to write any and all words. She knew it was of no use to sit there, trapped within walls, and breathing the air that felt stale without Can next to her. She walked to the embankment. The evening breeze was no match against the cold she felt from within. She remembered all the times she shared with Can. She cried a thousand tears, she sighed a thousand sighs. And none of it eased her pain. Because all of her being called out for Can. All of her heart and soul begged her to go, walk, run to him. She watched the evening sky caressing its reflection in the Bosphorus. How distant was the sky awa from the river in real life? And yet, each night they joined in perfect unisom enveloped in its magic. She thought of Can. When did he fill her heart and all of its deepest pieces? When did she come to love him so much? How could she ever go on living without him?

And something happened. Something she could not explain. She let her tears and sobs quiet down. She let her soul and heart calm down. She felt the silence. She let it fill her completely. And she felt more a woman and more confident than she ever felt. She felt that although the fear of her lies demanded of her do retreat and back down, the love she felt for Can outweighed, outlifted, and outshone her fear. He loved her. He believed in her. He believed in their love enough to open up to her. And who was she to question the strength of their love if Can himself believed in them? She went to his home and waited for him. How long? That did not matter. Nor did it matter that the evening drew cold. The surge of courage chased any notion of cold away from her. She sat on the lawn, and let that silence she still felt inside fill her heart with nothing more and nothing else but their love. Can revealed his feelings to her. The time had come for her to do the same...

She did not see him enter the house. She did not see the sorrow in his eyes fueled by the pain in heart. She did not see the defeat he felt walking in after a confersation he shared with Deren, which proved both empty and meaningless - because he did not have Sanem there by his side. Above all, with her back turned to the patio doors, she did not see the expression on his face the moment his heart screamed with happiness when he saw her sitting and waiting for him. Sitting there. And waiting for him. He paused, and fought the urge to rush toward her. No, this evening would not be about rushing anything. It would be about being alone, together, and finally alone together. It would be about their love, innocent and pure as only first love could be. Both as much for her as much as it was for him. For them.

He took each step toward her as a sign of getting closer toward his dream, his future. He loved her, he only hoped that she felt that way too. He stood beside her. Sat down, and looked into her eyes. And realized she was there for him, and he needn't have worried about his heart after he left her home earlier that day when he left the way he did. Or, maybe, that was exactly what she needed to come to her senses? To admit to herself that she loved him too? He would never have left her, he was too in love with her to ever do so. She filled his heart and its every piece, and he knew she would be the only one who ever would fill his heart that way. Because he was a one woman man. And he found her in Sanem.

Sanem, too, realized that the fear she felt lay defeated the moment he came to her side. His eyes, his smile, his touch, his love. All of that outwheighed everything else she felt inside. Weighing in all the odds, their love proved stronger and more powerful than anything else that weighed against them, or ever would. Because their love was extraordinary. Because it was limitless. Because it would have no end...