A LEAP OF THE EARLY BIRD

Finding her own strength...

Is it not true that a person's own strength is found within them? It is more than confidence. Much more than self-esteem. It is finding a balance between who one wishes to become and realizing they already are that person. That they already possess what they need in order to face tomorrow, what they need to conquer today...

Sanem could not believe that Can showed up at Leyla Bakkal. That he knew where to look for her. That he knew where to find her. And that he went out looking for her in the first place. She could not figure out what made him do that. It was as if suddenly he changed his mind about what happened. About her mistakes and her lies. She knew that Leyla gave him the contract that Emre signed with Aylin. But he refused to hear her out when she tried to exlain herself to him. So him showing up made her wonder. Was that really it? Did he forgive her because he realized that she had been played by his own brother? Because he realized that Emre took advantage of her good heart?

She knew there was more to him showing up suddenly than just asking her to return back to the agency. So, he forgave her. But did he forgive Sanem his employee, or Sanem his beloved? She could not be sure. And yet... She could not deny that there were still sparks between them. A blind person could see it. And she most definitely felt it too. She felt it when he did not take his hand back when they both reached for the jar of sause. No, he did not take it back. He held on, with his fingers overlaping hers, as if in a sign that he was still there for her. She felt it also when he looked at her then, looked into her eyes. Deep into them. Deeper...

Now that he left, she had to decide what she would do. She told Can she would return to the agency, but she had doubts about what she should do. About what she needed to do. Should she stay at the grocery store within her comfort zone, or face her life head on and fight for who she wanted to be and become who she was meant to become? A writer at Fikri Harika? Maybe even someone who mattered to Can again? She thought about the latter, and the choice was clear. She would return. With a head held high, and a confident smile on her face. And not because Can asked her to return personally. She would do it for herself.

As she was about to leave the store to let her parents know about what she was going to do, they came in to the store. They were worried about her and her decision to return to the agency. She told them that her choice was based on the necessity to pay back her debt, though she was perfectly aware that was not true. She knew they would not understand otherwise. Nihat and Mevkibe were worried she would not be happy working there again. But she surprised them, and announced that they would have to let her work out her problems, mistakes, and matters of her life by herself. She was learning to manage her life, and she would need to do that on her own...

The steps she took while walking back in to Fikri Harika seemed lighter than she imagined. Lighter than she anticipated, and so much lighter than the last steps she took while leaving the agency the day before. She smiled with her lips and smiled with her eyes. And when she saw Ceycey among those who came to look her way, she smiled with her soul. She was glad to be back, and was glad to have Ceycey back by her side too. But more than anything else, she was glad she would get to see Can and serve çay to him again...

She did just that as the first order of business. She walked in to his office to find him busy working on a project for the proposal of the upcoming campaign. What he said made her heart skip a beat. He said he missed her. She replied that she too missed him. But he quickly corrected himself by saying he missed the çay. Then, he confused her even more by referencing going out. And he corrected himself again and said that he was referencing the slogan for the campaign proposal. To which she almost reacted with a sarcastic laugh, because his ideas were less than effective. To say the least. And she let him know it. But, to her surprise, he took her words as constructive criticism, and showed her that her opinion mattered to him. Moreover, he told her he needed her, and could not help himself to caress her hair. And that surprised them both. So he retracted his statement yet again, and said he needed her during the upcoming meeting.

Only, the meeting turned into something they had not anticipated, because Can's old and very good friend Gamze joined the meeting as the client's consultant. Sanem's confidence she felt moments before dissipated into dust. Even more so, her confidence turned into most indiscreet suspicion after the meeting, when Can invited Gamze to his office for a good and well overdue cup of çay. Though Sanem did everything to make their çay time anything but romantic, she failed to see that Can and Gamze were nothing more than dear friends with a common past. But Sanem's actions did not escape Gamze's keen eye. Moreover, what did not escape Gamze's keen observation was Can's reaction to whatever it was that Sanem was doing...

As the day turned into early night, Sanem did everything to stay as late as it was possible. And just as she planned, she and Can ended up leaving the agency as the last two employees. And she could no longer wait to lay it all out on him, for falling for another woman so quickly after they ended their relationship. Can felt completely blindsided by her words. Because she was wrong. He was not falling for anyone, and certainly not in any romantic sort of way. Not that he needed to report to her on that. But she was hurt, and finally found her own strenght within her. It was coming out of her, with fury fueled by the pain of not being able to explain herself to him before. She told him that it appeared that he thought that any woman was now better that her. He indicated that it wasn't so, but that she was the one who hurt him by first making them to get to know each other, and when he fell for her she had no problem telling Emre she would break up with him. His words cut through her heart, because the truth was so much more complex and opposite from that. So she fired back at him by saying that it was his own brother who turned everything against her. Against them. Emre twisted it all. His own brother. But he was too stubborn to face the fact and too afraid to admit it...

His next words hit her heart in the most unexpected way... He admitted he was afraid. With honesty in his voice and nothing but heart in his eyes. Yes, he was afraid, but what he was afraid of was to look at her. Because he could not look at her and not tremble. His will shattered whenever he laid his eyes on her, whenever his gaze wandered her way. Each time it did. It hurt him, and she had no idea how much until now. But she would have to wonder where the conversation could have led, because fate decided to step in to show them that there still was a chance for them. For their feelings. For their love. And all it took was an elevator that chose to break at exactly the moment they needed it most...