A LEAP OF THE EARLY BIRD

A thousand nights for his smile...

She found him. In the darkness of the night, lit only by a faint moon and glimmering stars. She found him even though deep down inside she doubted she ever would. But she did. And it did not only pertain to finding him in the forest...

With a heart of a dreamer and a soul of a romantic, Sanem believed love existed in real life. It wasn't just a story told by the elders. It wasn't just a fairy tale read to children at bedtime. It existed. She witnessed it every day in the eyes of her mother and in the heart of her father. They withstood the test of time and proved to both of their families that the love they chose was stronger than anything else in the world. She hoped to someday find that kind of love and to feel that sense of belonging to someone who would love her just as much.

And she found that kind of love. The problem was she did not believe that the heart for which her heart beat for would love her back. She loved, but she was afraid. She was no fool. She was young, but not unaware of the feeling that filled her heart. Her heart was captured by someone who made her feel cherished. He madenher feel special. But she knew how the world worked, and she always fell short of letting her feelings show. Each time she would almost gather her courage to tell Can how she really felt, something or someone would appear and crush her courage to smithers. As much as she wanted to shout out her love for him, she began to understand that their love would and could only exist in her heart and in her dreams. Not only because she lied and hurt him, but because someone like her could never reach for a hand of someone like Can...

But she found him. And even though she wanted to turn to him and run into his arms and reveal just how happy she was to find him, she did not. Because that could no longer and never be. She would just be happy she found him, and that was enough for her.

He offered her tea, and she never imagined that a hot cup of liquid could ever taste so good. While searching for Can she lost the track of time and forgot about hunger or thirst. She was set on finding Can, and she succeeded. She couldn't tell whether he was mad or glad that she found him. But she did notice he was no longer angry. Fury no longer burned in his eyes. What she saw in his eyes was the true sight of who Can really was. As a person inside and out. He was quiet, withdrawn, and composed. He was hurt but yet impecably serene. He did not shout or scold or speak up in a raised voice. He was calm and collected. But still his eyes spoke a tale his lips wouldn't reveal. And that worried Sanem. Even more, because she had to reveal why she looked for him.

And she did, and again Can showed how he chose to deal with such hurtful news. He fell silent, closed that hurt inside of him. Though she only knew him for a short period of time, she saw through that veil of stoic composure. He impressed her, but did not fool her. She stood up and walked toward him when he moved away from her. She did not come close to him, not any closer than she thought was appropriate. She wanted to lay a hand on his shoulder, on his arm, and caress him if only in the gentlest of ways. But she knew if he moved away from her touch it would break her heart. So she chose to keep close, but not too close. She asked him a few simple questions, if he would go back to the agency or leave to go abroad. He answered honestly, that he did not know. As honest as the answers were, they cut her to the core. How was it possible that she felt so much for a person she knew for less than a month? How was it possible that his words held a power to either fill her with joy or fill her with grief? His words held that power, because she was powerless to stop her feelings for him. That power was clearly visible when he asked what could hold him back in Istanbul. In that short speck of time that lasted no longer than a second, she realized she really had lost any hope she had of ever holding her hand in his. Telling him how she felt would be pointless. Telling him what she had done would only cause him to remeber her for the pain she caused him, and not for the few moments of light that they shared. So she chose not to disclose either. Instead, she placed both of those matters in her heart and knew that she would remeber him and their moments in a good way if he did choose to leave.

As time passed when they sat by the fire, she asked him about the moonstones. One dark and one light. He revealed their meaning and why there were two stones. She was grateful to him for opening up enough to reveal a story from his past. That he had been hurt. That his photoshoots were not all filled with glamour. He worked hard to earn prestige. He did not rely on his fame, he relied on his skills. She only hoped that Ayhan and Ceycey would be able to find whomever framed Can and that his license was reinstated.

Since Can advised her that it would be better if they waited the night by the campside and went back in the morning, she trusted him and agreed wholeheartedly. She agreed for one more reason. She would get to spend time with him, if only for one more night, if only for a few more hours. If he left and never returned, she would cherish their time and that evening. She would not forget how he made her feel. That night and the night they danced at his hut. Her heart could barely contain the feelings for him. Now it would also have to learn to endure the sorrow of learning how to love but having to let go.

She asked him if she could lay near him. Not in the tent, but under the stars. She asked one more question, and hoped he would agree. She asked if he would not mind laying closer to her. She could not reach out for him, she would never dare, but laying next to him was all that hear heart asked for. He smiled then, and he meant it when he gifted her that smile. And she realized that she would exchange a thousand nights for his one smile. In a heartbeat. Becase she cared. Because she always would...