Birds of a Feather (Oswald Cobblepot)

Escapism

   From behind a nearby skyscraper, a giant inflatable parade balloon of the Trickstress comes out, carried by a colorful float on the street below.

"It's the Superheroes Parade!" Ed explains, continuing to point.

Behind the balloon and float of my likeness, similar balloons of Batwoman and Green Lantern follow closely behind, the balloons plastered with dotted eyes and cartoon smiles. In this dream world, the Trickstress still exists? Yes, I enjoy the identity, but I figured that my dreams wouldn't have room for a vigilante alter-ego.

A small crowd has built up on the sidewalk to watch the parade. Ed holds my hand as we watch the floats go by, followed by a marching band of trumpets and tubas. Are we ever going to be getting to work?

Through all the loud noises and bright lights, a chill runs down my spine as a cold presence behind me becomes apparent. The world around me begins to slow down, colors blurring into a murky pool.

I turn around to see Oswald standing just behind me, still in his casual clothing and hair but, his head is slightly bowed, a sinister grin stretching ear to ear.

"Enjoying everything?" he asks, his hands behind his back.

I pause before responding, “Uhm...yeah...yeah, what a site, huh?”

He takes my hand, and I whip to my left, expecting to see Ed, but all I see is the blur of colors that meld together in a haze of rough outlines of objects melting into each other.

“I see you’ve noticed by now,” Oswald continues, squeezing my hand.

I chuckle nervously, “N-noticed what?”

He moves behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders, “You know what I mean. That none of this is real, it’s all an illusion.”

Why, of all people, is Oswald the one pointing this out?

“I can help you escape, back to the real world,” he offers, squeezing my hand.

I look down at the psychedelic blur that should be the floor, clenching my fist. This is my chance, although the way it’s presented to me is quite strange. But...somehow, I don’t want to leave. As off as this world is, what is the real world compared to this? In the real world, my parents are dead, Ed is on a wild goose chase with some other girl, and I…

I look up to find Oswald’s vanished, and the world is clear and visible once more. People are still cheering and clapping as the parade slowly makes its way down the street. Ed is beside me, and I take his hand, causing him to turn to me and smile.

Just then, a loud air horn sounds through the street, as a new float approaches the others, this one hastily built with a large, flashing face of a familiar man with orange hair at the center. From out of the mouth of the face, the Trickster jumps through, making his entrance.

“Greetings, citizens of Gotham! Prepare to meet your doom, thanks to the hands of the one and only: Trickster!”

While I understand that this is a dream a therefore has license to not make sense, why of all people, would the Trickster show up? I guess my dreams can only incorporate people I’ve met in real life.

Ed taps me on the shoulder, “Uhm, Natalie, I think it’s high time you head home. I think the city needs a certain masked crusader just about now.”

Ed knows I’m the Trickstress? I try to hold back my surprise as I nod, and begin to weave my way through the crowd. I easily make it out, almost as if a path had been created for me, and before I know it I’m back in my fancy apartment. I check my closet for my Trickstress costume, but it’s no where to be found. As I look through the large closet, I notice a slight glow emanating from between the wooden panels. Pressing on the panels causes it to slide back, revealing a hand scanner. Curious, I place my right hand on the scanner. A mechanical beeping sound is heard, and the wall slides back to reveal a descending staircase bathed in an ominous green light.

I slowly begin to walk down it, shifting my feet sideways to accommodate the steep, narrow steps. A dim blue glow emanates from the bottom of the stairs. Where is this leading to?

I walk through the doorway to find the blue light expanding into a massive bunker-like room with computers and various equipment. How this can be built in an apartment complex, I have no idea.

"Natalie, there you are!" it’s Batwoman, pulling on her red gloves and adjusting her auburn wig. She throws me my Trickstress costume, “C’mon, we gotta go!”

Changing into the outfit, and quickly tying my mask on, in minutes I’m following Batwoman to two identical fire poles, one labelled “Batwoman” and the other “The Trickstress”. Reaching the bottom, the next room is a garage, with Batwoman’s flashy black and red convertible serving as the centerpiece. However, just off to the side, there’s a black motorbike with light blue highlights to match my costume. Is that mine?

Batwoman doesn’t wait for me as she gets into the car and starts it up. I guess she expects me to take the motorbike.

Not seeing a helmet anywhere, I mount the motorbike as the garage door opens to reveal an empty city street. Batwoman zooms off in her car, and I follow close behind. We make our way back to the Superheroes Parade, where the Trickster is now throwing pies at people running away in the streets.

“Citizens of Gotham need a little more fun in their lives, as well as a little more fruit pie!” he declares, slamming a pie into the back of a fleeing citizen.

I pull my motorbike to the side, allowing it to skid to a stop as Batwoman stops her own car in the middle of the road.

“Oh look! It’s Batwoman and the Trickstress! I’d love to stay and chat but, you know what they say: birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim!” the Trickster lets out a boisterous laugh before jumping back onto his float which sprouts large rockets and speeds off.

“We have to follow him!” Batwoman cries.

I take off first, my motorbike zipping past all the other floats and veering toward his. As I approach the Trickster’s float, the world around me begins to slow down again, colors blur, and the definition of objects become unclear. No, not now...I have to stop the Trickster!

“Trixie...none of this is real. Wake up,” Oswald’s ghostly voice echoes through my head.

I grit my teeth, tightening my grip on the handles of the motorbike, “Not...now!”

Forcing myself back into the dream world, my vision clears just in time for the Trickster’s float to turn a corner, he’s getting away!

Turning up the gas, I go as fast as I can and somehow manage to clear the turn without wiping out. His float just up ahead, I begin to stand up, taking my hands off of the handles. Just when I reach the float, I jump off of my motorbike and onto the float, dangling off of the edge. The Trickster appears from atop the float, bending down to look at me.

“Awe, little Trickstress, you need some help there?” he asks, giving an over exaggerated frown, “Here, I’ll help you.”

He takes out a feather and starts tickling one of my hands. I can’t help but giggle, but then snap out of it when that hand loses its grip. The Trickster laughs, and wanting revenge, I grab back onto the float and flip myself up, kicking him back. Landing on my feet, I prepare myself for a fight, but the Trickster stands completely still, standing straight with his head down. He begins chuckling, his voice morphing until it becomes a familiar, mid-pitched tone.

Grabbing his face at the chin, he pulls it off like a mask to reveal Oswald, his strange haircut and extra pasty skin now back intact, “Well Trixie, you’ve had your fun. Now it’s time to wake up.”