Birds of a Feather (Oswald Cobblepot)

Holiday Celebrations Pt. 2

    Getting up from Oswald's living room couch, I glance around. Both Oswald and Mrs. Cobblepot have fallen asleep, with a worn blanket over Mrs. Cobblepot as she lies on the couch, while Oswald naps on the edge of an armchair. We'd fallen asleep listening to Mrs. Cobblepot's stories about Oswald's youth, mostly tales of what a "good little boy" he'd been. I'm not sure if that's simply her default mode when making conversations with others, or if she was purposely trying to gloat over my own lack of childhood.

Whatever reason she had, I'm just glad it's over. Standing up to leave, I look over to Oswald. His mouth's open, a slight trail of drool running out from his sharp, yellowed teeth. He worked so much, planned so much just so that we could have this little get together. While I don't agree his mother and I could ever get along, I have to at least admire his attempt. And the celebration itself was nice, it's been so long since I've done something around this time of year.

I lean down, and run my hand through his hair.

"I love you, Oswald," I confess, in a whisper so soft not even I can fully hear it.

Leaning in, I kiss him on the cheek, before getting back on my feet. Turning around, I half expect Oswald to get up and follow me, but instead he lies motionless on the armchair, the majority of his body obscured by the armchair. However, just as I close the door, Oswald's body stirs, and he turns around, wide awake.

"I love you too Trixie."

Without response I shut the door.

On Christmas Eve, Ed's apartment is dead silent. Ed's already asleep, having just turned off the fluorescent lamp on his nightstand. Outside in the living room, a small Christmas tree has been set up, with a string of green lights circling it several times over. However, only one present rests under the tree, a small, slightly damaged package with a tag labelled: "To: Natalie K. From: Ed Nygma".

From outside, a sleek figure opens a portion of one of the apartment's warehouse-sized windows, and slinks in. The person undoes a rope and harness attached to the person's hips, but leaves on a package strapped to the person's back. Scampering to the bedroom, the figure peers into the bedroom, to find Ed still asleep.

The masked person then takes off the present strapped to their back, a medium-sized package with emerald green wrapping with "To: Ed" written on the label. Placing it in front of the tree, without another thought the figure reattaches the harness to their hips, and tugging the rope a little bit, jumps up onto the window ledge before diving into the streets below.

Ed wakes up as soon as the morning sun peeks out from the sky. Without hesitation, he leaps out of bed. He starts marching from his bedroom and into the living room.

"I must immediately call Ms. Kringle to record her reaction to my gift, I hope she didn't think of opening it earl-" Ed's attention is grabbed by the suspicious open window above him.

He shakes his head, "I never open these windows, especially not during this time of year. I can already feel the equilibrium of room temperature has been lost to the cold."

He looks down at the simple Christmas tree to find a new present next to the one he'd placed last night.

"What's this?" he gets down on his knees to pick up the gift, "It's addressed to me."

Ed starts tearing off the wrapping, to reveal a plain cardboard box. Opening the cardboard box, he finds a platter of sugar cookies covered in tissue wrap, along with a mechanical device separated by a tightly sealed plastic package.

He gasps, grabbing the clear package containing the boxy device with gears sticking out.

"The combustion chamber of a 3.5 L V8 182 hp Carburettor! This is exactly what I need to power my multidimensional transporter! Who would know to get me-"

Ed stops, and smiles, "Nat, of course. She's the only one who listens to my requests for parts, or at least, the only one who deems them rational."

He puts down the plastic pack and unwraps the platter of cookies, simple sugar cookies with green sprinkles.

"Nat, I wish you could be here, but, tis the season," he chuckles to himself, before taking a bite.

However, Ed's smile fades when he turns to the tree and spots the last remaining gift sitting on the tree skirt.

"Oh no, no, this won't do," he shakes his head, moving over to pick up the gift.

"Nat went through all that effort to deliver a Christmas gift to me, and yet she didn't take the gift addressed to her. Did she not see it?"

Holding the gift in his hands, Ed glances from left to right, "Something must be done here."

I wake up on Christmas morning to the sound of Barbara hurling in the bathroom. Getting off of the couch, I hike to the bathroom, throwing the door open. Not saying anything, I cross my arms and lean against the doorway. After she's finished, Barbara coughs.

"What're you looking at?"

"You do realize this is the third time this week I've woken up to your morning hangover?" I tell her.

She spits into the toilet, before getting off of her knees, "Hey, you relieve your stress twisting with bird boy, I however, have my own methods."

"Stop bickering," Renee grumbles, clumsily swaying into the bathroom with her head hanging down, "it's Christmas, this is the worst time to be arguing."

"Do you even celebrate Christmas, Natalie? Being, as you are," Barbara questions, flushing the toilet with her heel and getting a napkin to wipe her mouth.

Of course she'd ask me, "My parents never celebrated it, but Ed introduced it to me when we met. We've exchanged gifts every year since, although this year is a bit different-"

There's a knock from the front door, and the three of us spring to our feet. Leading the pack, Renee heads for the door and looks through the peephole.

"It's Crispus," she whispers to Barbara and I.

She opens the door to Crispus' dopey smile, "Happy holidays girls. I've got an...uhm...delivery here."

Renee raises an eyebrow, "From whom?"

Walking inside, Crispus puts down several bags, including a slightly damaged green gift box, "I'd been planning on just delivering groceries and necessities to you guys, but this morning while I was at the GCPD-"

"You worked Christmas day?" Barbara asks, shocked.

He chuckles, "Hey, an apartment on a nicer side of town doesn't pay for itself, not to brag of course," he coughs, before continuing, "so, at the GCPD, Ed approached me and demanded that I give that package to Natalie."

I put my hands on my hips as Crispus gestures to the green box wrapped in an emerald green bow, "How did he know you knew where I am?"

"I don't know. Something about a 'romantic interest', and a 'platonic mutual partnership'. I-...I have no idea what he's talking about," Crispus shrugs, playing dumb.

I unwrap the bow and lift open the box, throwing out all of the matching green wrapping tissue. Wrapped in the box is a wristwatch, with a simple, metal timepiece and a black leather band. On the back, engraved in the metal are the words: What has hands but can't clap?

I smile, typical Ed, what a thoughtful gift.

"Well, I'll admit, the guy has an eye for gifts," Renee confesses, placing her fingers at her chin.

"That...that's actually kind of sweet," Barbara admits, "minus Cobblepot, you have good friends Natalie."

"Who said he was a friend?" I walk up to Crispus, "Thank you so much for delivering this."

Rising on my tippie toes, I plant a kiss on his cheek, and his eyes widen, "Ooh, well, uh...it was no trouble at all."

Barbara and Renee turn to each other, unable to control their giggling. Crispus bids farewell to the three of us, and closes the door when he waves, "Happy holidays!"

Renee responds as the rest of us wave back, "Merry Christmas!"