Birds of a Feather (Oswald Cobblepot)

Zsasz and the Zsaszettes

  I stash my dual handguns into concealed holts attached to my shirt. Ann straps up her boots while Zsasz waits just outside the abandoned warehouse.

"Why does Zsasz want us wearing these ridiculous clothes anyway? Is it some kind of intimidation tactic?" she asks me, picking up her shotgun from off a dirty metal table.

I shrug, "Who knows, maybe he just likes the style."

I grab one last clip of ammo before Ann and I head out of the warehouse to meet Zsasz.

"Good, you're ready. Tonight's an easy kill, an elderly upstate family, but it must look like a robbery, understood?" he explains, as we pile into his car.

Ann and I both nod, as he speeds off. The first couple of minutes in the car is silent. Ann still thinks I'm Sydney, and from my knowledge, she never knew her that well. And Zsasz, well...he doesn't seem like much of a conversationalist to begin with. He turns on the car radio, and starts playing "Funkytown". Wait...isn't that also his ringtone?

"Hey, I was thinking I'd give you two a name," he perks up out of the blue.

Ann raises an eyebrow, "Oh really? And why's that?"
"Because...you're my first two henchwomen to have survived this long," he explains, his tone remaining calm and steady, "I just thought it would be a nice consolation."

"You see, I was thinking I'd call you guys...the 'Zsaszettes'. Catchy, am I right?"

I shrug, I actually kind of like it, "Yeah, that works."

From his reflection in the rearview mirror, he smiles, "Good, I'm glad you do."

There's another silent pause as we cross the bridge connecting the Gotham warehouse district and uptown. Even if we wanted to talk, there's no way we could have heard each other over the bumps and roars of the old bridge.

As soon as we get to the other side of the bridge, Ann speaks up, "Hey Zsasz, why were you away for so long? The only reason we're still alive is because we haven't been working for months. I had to take up dancing again just to make ends meet."

"I'm sorry you were...inconvenienced, but I was taking care of business for Don Falcone. Organizing more security around his mansion. Ha...he needed it too, those two female vigilantes, Batwoman and the Trickstress? They broke into his house," Zsasz reveals.

The both of us look at him in surprise, although, my surprise is completely manufactured. After all, I was there.

"I know, small world, right? Anyway, they both got away in the end. Pissed off Falcone to no end, so he ordered more security and, of course, I was the one chosen to train them. I would have brought you Zsaszettes along but, Falcone's squeamish about having female bodyguards. I personally disagree with him, I believe in equal opportunity employment."

We got away? From what I remember, Batwoman sacrificed herself so that I could get out free. Although, what I found out later was that Don Falcone knew her identity, and was only interested in keeping her alive, they would have killed me without question. And she knew that all along, she knew it was her fault getting us attacked by the Talon in the first place.

The car pulls up to an expansive mansion sitting past a hilly green grass lawn. The front yard lights are on, illuminating a brick path to the house.

As we get out of the car, I turn to Zsasz to ask, "Wait, if we want to make sure people think this is a robbery, shouldn't we be wearing disguises? Wouldn't people recognize us?"

He smirks, "Exactly. And then they'll know to stay out of our way."

Walking up to the house, Zsasz kicks in the door, but the front foyer appears empty, deserted, almost. The small running water fixture sitting on a nearby end table provides the only sound in the entire house.

Zsasz, Ann, and I dive out of the way as a bullet is fired from the upstairs banister.

"I know you! You're not going to take me, or my wife!" an elderly man shouts, crouched behind the banister.

Zsasz gets up and fires at him, but he scooches back just in time, crawling behind a door on the second floor. Wow, for an old man, he's pretty fast.

"Sorry Powers, but when you miss your bills, the Repo Man comes calling," Zsasz quips, before gesturing for us to climb the stairs.

The three of us race up the stairs, our boots pounding against the carpet. Ann and I take cover behind the doorway, while Zsasz aims his sights at the door. He kicks at the door, but it's locked shut, so he fires a bullet, blowing off the lock. Kicking in the door, Ann and I follow Zsasz into the bedroom. The room's empty, with an open door on the other side of the room. He must have escaped through there.

The door behind us slams as the Powers knocks Zsasz on the head with his pistol. Ann and I fire on him, hitting him multiple times in the chest before he falls to the floor, a pool of blood collecting around him.

I help Zsasz as he holds his head, a small bump visible on his forehead. He looks down at the dead man lying on the carpeted floor.

"Hmph, I didn't get the kill. What a shame," he sighs, kicking the body with the tip of his shoe.

"He mentioned a wife, right? She might still be in the house," Ann suggests.

Zsasz peers in through the opposite door, which leads to a side staircase with a door at each level.

"Ann, you check downstairs. Sydney and I will take upstairs," he orders.

Ann starts heading down the lower flight as Zsasz takes out his pocketknife, "I might just get another mark tonight after all."

We make our way up the stairs, checking the next floor's door, a simple bedroom, probably a guest room. Our guns still trained, we start searching the room. On the nightstand, I spot a stone owl ornament, similar to one I saw in Don Falcone's mansion. Are the Powers couple part of the Court of Owls as well? And if so, is that why Falcone contracted Zsasz to kill them?

"Look who I found!" Zsasz comes out of the bedroom closet, clutching the collar of an elderly woman in an expensive dress, "The missus was hiding behind all of her winter coats."

"Please, I know nothing, just, just take what you want! I, I have jewelry up in my room and-"

Zsasz trains his pistol at her head, "You know what they say about sending a message?"

With one shot, he blows a bullet to her head, before dropping her to the ground, "You don't succeed unless the stakes are serious."

Putting his gun away, he reaches into his back pocket for his blade, "Hey...where's my knife? I just had it. Maybe I dropped it while going up the stairs."

He walks out of the room to search around the stairs, as I back into the closet and take out his pocketknife, as well as my own dagger. I quickly scrap some of the blue residue from my dagger onto the pocketknife, before putting my blade away.

"Hey, I found it!" I call out, "It was in the closet."

He rushes back into the room, "Ah. Thank goodness, I was beginning to worry."

Stepping over Mrs. Power's body, Zsasz takes his knife, pulls up his sleeve and cuts another mark into his arm, "I'm going to have to start on the other arm soon. Running out of room here."

Ann leans in the doorway, "You two get her?"

She looks down at the dead body in the middle of the room, "Oh...I see."

I can't help but smile as Zsasz puts his knife away. Finally, I got some tracking microbes into his system. Agent work, especially for Amanda is slow, arduous work. But now I not only have my first mob serial killer checked off of my list, I also have direct access to Don Falcone's most trusted killer. This is going to be fun.