Birds of a Feather (Oswald Cobblepot)

Walk the Straight and Narrow

    With some trouble, I make my way home and quickly change out of my costume. It's still the early evening, and I'm looking forward to a long night's sleep. Placing my costume and other equipment back into the metal suitcase, I slide it under the bed before collapsing onto the bed myself.

My head's killing me...and least now...I can close my eyes, and get some rest-

There's a knock at the door. That better not be Oswald...maybe I should just not answer it. He'll barge in here anyway, that inconsiderate brat.

"Nat?" Ed knocks on the door once again, "You called in sick to work today. I wanted to see if you were actually ill or simply hung over."

I can't help but chuckle a little at that. Ed knows me well...

I get up to answer the door, but halfway through the living room my vision starts to cloud, this time becoming blurry, and distorting the room around me. I stumble backwards, but force myself to push forward, finally making it to the door.

"Hey Ed," I sigh, swinging open the door.

Ed, now dressed in a forest green stripe printed suit instead of his usual lab coat, stands with both hands behind his back. He suddenly frowns, "Nat...you look unwell. Tired, in need of rest."

I chuckle, "Yeah, I...I bumped my head. I think I might have a concussion."

His eyes widen, "Well, we must get you to bed right away. Two to three days of consistent rest should be the minimum requirement."

I smile, but also get a bad feeling in my gut. Two to three days? With my schedule, I barely get two to three hours of rest.

Ed leads me back to bed, which is a huge relief for me. He tucks the covers, and sits in the armchair by my bed. Luckily, my pyjama shirt covers the wounds on my back, but I still bite my lip as Ed puts his hand on my shoulder.

"I will be your in-house caretaker for the next couple of days. I will fetch everything you need, and assist you in daily tasks," he informs.

"Thanks Ed. You're the best guy to have around when someone's sick. But...no chamber pot this time, okay?"

His expression becomes confused, "Well, I certainly won't let you wet the bed. ...I'll go find you a bucket to-"

"No!" I interrupt, before my seriousness dissolves into laughter, "I can get up to go to the bathroom, Ed. Don't worry about it."

"Oh...alright. Well, I won't disturb you from your rest any longer. I will sleep in the same vicinity to comfort you."

Ed suddenly falls to the floor, lying down on his side.

I peer over the bed, "Ed...you're not going to sleep on the floor, are you?"

"Well I'm not sleeping upright in the chair, humans are meant to sleep while lying down, we're not giraffes," he counters.

I scoot over in my bed, patting on the empty space, "C'mon. You can sleep on the bed with me."

He slowly gets up, and without word or complaint, takes off his shoes before slipping under the covers next to me.

"Well...this is rather unusual. It's unprofessional for a caretaker to sleep with their patient-"

"Shh," I stop him, as I wrap my arms around his.

He looks down at me as I close my eyes. With his free arm, he pats me on the head, "Goodnight Nat."

    I'm jolted awake, not by the sound of my door opening, but of my bedroom door being flung open, slamming back against the adjacent wall.

"Where were you last night?" Oswald questions, his tone sharp and quick.