Reina [HS]

7.

Three weeks.

It's been three weeks since I've seen Harry.

Three fucking weeks.

I know I said it's only his loss, but I clearly didn't mean it...

I'm going crazy here, I don't know when was the last time I missed someone so much.

Hell, I don't even know if I ever missed someone like this at all.

I miss those eyes, and his stupid dimpled smile. I miss the shitty jokes he comes up with all the time, or the way he gets all irritated and annoyed when I don't agree with him, no matter how trivial is what we're 'arguing' about.

I miss him.

I mean, at least I'm hearing his voice, I guess.

We've been doing late night calls since he left the city, not every day, but occasionally. We're also texting back and forth during the day.

He always asks how my day is going, or what I'm currently up to. He tells me about his work, all the boring meetings he has to suffer through. Or the studio time, trying to write new songs, apparently with not much success...

The bottom line is, he took the challenge very seriously, fighting himself back to our old friendship. And I got to say, even though I'm trying to give him a hard time just for the fun of it... in reality he has me all soft and weak deep inside.

And that's exactly what I was afraid of. I shouldn't get too attached so easily, giving him a chance is one thing, completely depending on him is entirely different though.

To be honest, unfortunately that's kind of what is happening right now.

My mood depends on him.

It pains me to admit so, but sometimes I find myself overthinking his answers for example. When he sends me a sarcastic message, I sometimes wonder if he actually does mean it...

Or if he doesn't reply to me right away, the thought of him disappearing and ghosting me for good is going on a loop in my head, until he writes me back.

It works like that the other way around as well. If he sends me an old funny picture of us in the morning, saying he just found it in one of his photo albums, no one can ruin that day for me.

I'm happy as a pig in muck, visiting back the image from time to time and smiling at the memory.

I know this is a very very dangerous game, but somehow my mind decides to kind of just shut off, whenever he comes into the picture.

He wasn't part of me for so long after being practically my everything, it's like my brain can't take it suddenly, because he's so intense and he's everywhere.

He takes up all the space in my head.

He changed so much, and yet he remained the same.

And I'm aware of the fact I probably make zero sense right now, but don't worry, I have no idea what is happening either.