Reina [HS]

58.

Two and a half months later
January

This is fine.

It's fine. I look good. I look good and I got this.

I'm not nervous at all.

But of course, that's a lie. I was nervous, terrified actually.

I stood in front of the mirror on slightly shaky legs, trying to take deep breaths as I ran my eyes up and down my own reflection over and over again. I was wearing a cropped tweed jacket in black, paired with a matching tweed skirt, my high heels completing the look.

My outfit for tomorrow. The big day.

I looked fancy and elegant, but it still didn't seem like I was trying too hard, which was exactly what I was going for. Cash had told me the other day when she joined me for dress shopping, that I could've chosen something sexier, something a bit more revealing, but I quickly shot that idea down. I wanted to be taken seriously, because this was serious. 

A gallery opening.

The opening of my gallery.

Even the idea of it sounded ridiculous in my head and I still wasn't exactly sure that this was actually happening... It was such a huge thing, an amazing opportunity really that I knew I would only benefit from in the future.

With great opportunities though, always comes a big load of pressure too. And that pressure was what made me practically shake with nerves right now. As usual, I started second guessing everything and I mean everything. From the way my hair looked to whether I was even worthy of having my own exhibition. I had seen some of the other student's works and honestly, I had no idea why they decided on me.

It's not that I wasn't proud of myself, it's just that it felt surreal to be chosen from among such an incredibly talented group of people. I wasn't quite sure why I deserved a privilege like this, it didn't really feel like it belonged to me and that was a scary thought.

And exactly because of all these insecurities and doubts of mine, I was terrified of something going wrong tomorrow. I wanted the whole day to go perfectly, but I knew that was most likely impossible. I was so nervous that it would be a literal miracle if I didn't mess something up or say something embarrassing. Or even worse, maybe I didn't even need words, maybe my pictures were enough to make it obvious that I had no place there.