Reina [HS]

24.

Helloo!

First of all, this is quite a long one so get comfy!

And second, let's just pretend the song How Would You Feel by Ed Sheeran is actually written by Harry, but he never released it...
It just fits to the story so well and I couldn't help but write it into this chapter.

Okay that would be all, have fun reading!<3

Two weeks.

Two weeks since I've last seen Elizabeth.

Two weeks, meaning fourteen days, six hours and about forty minutes... not that I'm counting...

I'm definitely counting.

This is actually killing me, I'm not sure if I've ever felt so down in my entire life.

When I went to see her that day I had a plan. I prepared this huge speech where I explained why I'm the biggest asshole ever, I would've told her about Sierra and the baby, and most importantly...

I would've said those three magic words.

I wanted to tell her that I loved her.

I wanted to tell her that I want nothing else than to be with her.

But when she said she'd like to go first I already knew whatever was coming couldn't be good.

However, I was not prepared for what actually came out of her mouth. I didn't expect her to tell me to leave, to ask me to walk out of her life.

Hearing her say those words was like a kick right in the guts. I felt sick to my stomach and I had trouble believing that this was really happening.

The hurt look in her eyes broke my heart to a million pieces, making me wish all of this was just a nightmare that I could wake up from at any minute.

But it wasn't. It was reality.

This was how she felt and I had no fucking idea.

I mean, I knew she didn't trust me completely yet, but this was more than that. The insecurity in her voice gave away the fact that she was doubting every move I made.

I never realised this was so serious. She always seemed so happy when we were together.

I thought that we were good. After watching everything fall apart around me I thought that at least the two of us were okay.

But she wasn't okay.

I truly did believe that I was good for her, that I can help, that she knows I'm on her side...

But the way she completely broke down in front of my eyes... She made it clear that I'm not enough.

I was doing more damage than good, even though it was the last thing I wanted.