Is this happiness ?

Chapter XXXIII

Chuuya, on the other side, after realizing he just threw his phone on the wall and broke it from anger, instently closed the door and when his mom went upstairs and asked what was wrong, he just said that it was his books falling and he didn't want to eat so that he could study. Him lying to his mother just made everything worse as he laid on his bed and totally covered himself with his blanket, he promised himself he won't cry but not like he could as he just shed tears while remembering what the brunet said "Does being his dearest means being his sexual object ? Is that all he sees in me ..."

The next day, he couldn't even get up from his bed because ... fever, obviously. He ran all the way under the rain then he spent all the night crying without resting and he didn't even eat. What was he expecting? But Dazai seems to have a stronger immunity as he woke up as usual and went to school, he didn't know what to think of as the ginger was absent for the whole day and he somehow felt guilty now and just as he thought, being at school without the ginger around is just a waste of time.

The day after was another story, Chuuya felt better and didn't want to miss more classes even though he wasn't prepared to see the brunet's face. Because of the rain, he was late for the school since the traffic was slow but he was lucky his savior was the one teaching them in the first class and Oda always was comprehensive and let him enter. As he went inside his classroom with a coat, a scarf and even gloves since he still didn't totally recover, the first one his eyes laid on was Dazai who coincidentally looked back and their gazes met, he promised himself he would completely ignore him but not liked he could, he still was the one averting the other's gaze as he went to take his seat.

"He took off his cast ?" Chuuya noticed "Talking about keeping promises and shit ! But i still was the first one who didn't keep my promise ..." He sighed, he didn't even know what they were doing and his mind doesn't seem ready to focus with his teacher, all he could think about was a certain brunet sitting not far away from him and the teacher asking Dazai to read made everything worse since listening to his voice just made him remember what he was saying on the phone "He didn't even bother to say hi ... i can't believe i spent all the previous day crying for him" he thought as he was looking up at him and when Dazai finished reading and set down, he noticed him and looked at him making him look away instently before he leans on the table defeatedly "I'm being stupid again ..."

Dazai just looked down at his book and read 'You will go nowhere with this attitude' making him think "It's not like i love it !" Before he leans down on his table too "Why am i being so childish ..."

Oda who noticed everything gave them a task then went to walk around them and stopped at Chuuya's desk :"Nakahara-kun, since you were late and the class president is absent then you'll be the one doing his work after the end of classes ." Chuuya looked up at him with his dead eyes before he sighes defeatedly :"Okay ..."

At lunch time, Chuuya forgot to bring his bento and his mother wasn't at home to make him remember and no way he will go to that cafeteria at this hour since the third world war must have already started there. He sighed again as he leaned on his table, still thinking about how some guys asked Dazai to join them and he just went with them without even looking back. He hated himself for wanting the other to pay attention to him even though he wanted to ignore him and contradicting himself was really tiring that he didn't realize when he fell asleep. What he didn't know is that Dazai noticed he had a fever and how he was tired and he just went with those guys to help him get what he wanted in the cafeteria. When he went back to the classroom, he found the ginger sleeping so he just put the sandwich and juice he bought on the other's table before taking his book and going to read in the stairs beside the door to the roof top since it was raining outside and he couldn't get out.