Is this happiness ?

Chapter LX

After reading his friend's text, Chuuya glanced one last time at the part his was memorising in his history book then he wore his jacket and left his room. In the veranda, Patrick was sitting on the only bench there and the moment he noticed him, he pointed at the free space beside him for Chuuya to sit there :"I hope i didn't wake you up from your sleep ."

"You interrupted me while i was studying which is actually worse ." Chuuya ignored his friend's apologetic smile as he set on the bench with his hands in his pockets at the chilly weather :"So what is it ?"

"I will go straight to the point !" The blonde affirmed making the ginger slightly curious yet he made sure not to have high hopes since he knew how crazy his friend is :"Come back to France ." ... and Chuuya was left speechless for a moment urging his friend to carry on :"Let's go back to France and carry on with our plans like nothing happened. We spent two years thinking of when we will finally graduate, which University we will attend, which place we will rent, which part time jobs we will have ... it would be such a waste to let them be just dreams, wouldn't it ?"

"You should have thought of this before befriending Vincent ."

"It's not my fault that he's a trouble magnet ."

"It's not my fault too that he got in trouble with the Mafia yet look at us ... you left your place and your family and started on your own all over again, Jean had to leave France to live with his brother in Belgium while i had to come all the way here ... isn't that enough of a change ? I'm tired, Patrick ." Chuuya rested his head on the back of the bench breathing in the cold air as he recalled all what he went through since he came to Japan but his friend wasn't ready to give up. He leaned back too then stared up at the starry sky :"I am also tired yet look at me, i traveled all the way here just to convince you to go with me, i mean sure i didn't have to change my whole country and learn a totally different language while trying to graduate but i still had to live on my own without anyone to rely on and i made it, i was able to find a place to live in, i'm doing pretty good in my studies while working at the same time and i will be graduating two months later and finally get to the University we wanted to go to, all that is lacking is you, Chuuya ."

"I can't go back to France ." Chuuya finally muttered after a long moment of utter silence. Patrick let out a long sigh :"Why ? Is it because of that Japanese guy ?"

"Leaving France to come here was like closing a book and opening a new one .. and with this new one, it's a new story, new circumstances, new dreams- no, new goals and ... new people, i have already settled my mind on giving a good ending to this new book in countrary to the previous one and i think that's what you should do too ." Chuuya opened his eyes in confusion at his friend's quiet chuckle :"You are literally saying that all this last year has been a waste of time for me, how could you be so cruel ?" 

When he noticed the ginger's confused look, Patrick sighed again leaning back and closing his eyes :"Just forget what i said ... but still, won't it be easier for you to study in France ? Like think of it logically, it would be easier to study literature with the language you have used your whole life instead of the one you had to learn in one year ."

"I grew to like Japanese besides, i'm not leaving my mother ." Chuuya whined out as he went to his previous position listening to the blonde carrying on :"Your mother will understand and if Dazai loves you as much as he likes to say, he will understand too ."

"I told you that i have a goal here, i wanna go to a University, study literature and be a teacher maybe then hopefully become a Poet, i already saw myself dying here and this isn't going to change ." The ginger retorted glaring at his friend who commented :"Aren't you just finding lame excuses ?"