The Girl At The Last

Chapter 15

Elaine

In a world that's changing quickly. The only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks, says Mark Zuckerberg.

But there are some petty risks in life, taking that would be stuporous. Those risks are meant to be avoided as I should.

Like for instance, heading to the cafeteria.

The possible graveyard for the demise of my self-respect. But I am willing to do this, on the command of Tyler. The image of Diana's ecstatic face pops up, I know if she ever got a breath about my bullying she will blame herself for it. It would just be an addition to her guilty confessions about how she failed me and my Mom who was once her best friend.

But I know better, there was no way she could have mended me.

Maybe this is what I want, the pain. It keeps me alive, the burning fire there somewhere inside me. With each hard breath and scream I vent it all out, all inside my head. So many words at once, it happens on a day, at the night, till my subconscious blurs.

My hand glides its way to tuck hair behind my ears and the other plays rigorously, an attempt to stop my cold hands from shaking so bad. So many things at once and then nothing at all.

I won't call it anxiety, it is me. After so many years it has become a part of me.

Some days are good, I am like my old self. Yesterday was one of them. Day was spend fretting about what Tyler might do next, but as soon as I met Alex, there was something that pushed all the negative thoughts away. Before I knew he was seated at our movie night.

And it just felt right, like he could belong there.

"Walk faster bitch, Tyler hates to wait" David. The messenger of Tyler pushed me on the shoulder, it did make my lazy stride swifter.

"Who knows that better than me" I grumbled under my breath. Though I should walk another way around and run for hills, my heart was calm and so was my mind. Like I said it's not always the same.

The weird thing is the fact that Alex never has lunch in the cafeteria, this puts me more at ease. Even if anything goes downhill, he won't be there.

But for how long?

"You said something?" his manly voice commanded, but it never scared me. He was like an elephant, Big. But harmless.

"Was just wondering how was the lunch?" I batted my lashes comically at him.

Taking advantage of one more thing of his, he gets embarrassed easily. He was good at many aspects, but being with Tyler made him strive for popularity. And if having that costs him to lose your humanity, he will sacrifice it.

"Shut up" But his red face was in contrast to his roaring wind up of our conversation.

The door to the entrance did not invite me with tenderness. Sick looks and whispers exploded around as soon they saw me. After all, everyone remembers what happened here last time when Tyler and I were in this same exact room. Since that day I avoided it.

"Look, look, look who we have here" Jace Martinez walks slow steps towards me, he is not as tall or built like Tyler or David. But he's known for his ruthless ways, last year his victim was Julia Larson, and this year she left the town. Rumor has it that he made one of her deepest secrets viral.

I could see Tyler from behind his shoulder, his hands folded as he sat watching our exchange smirking.

"Why did you call me here?" I tried keeping my voice straight. All eyes were on us, some even took out their mobiles.